T O P

It's been 8 months now and still no close. I don't deserve it? I know Gary got my last 2 SEC complaints, I wrote the addresses on 'em perfect.

It's been 8 months now and still no close. I don't deserve it? I know Gary got my last 2 SEC complaints, I wrote the addresses on 'em perfect.

karasuuchiha

**Report: Self Harm**, you know you did good when you get one of these good job OP


wn0991

And Kenny sings 🎶Please don't call up wondering why I got on this plane at all, the morning ladder attack will drop the price down, to short another day. And even if I could find a way to beat these apes I'd still get margin called and it reminds me that I am fuck that I am fucked🎶


Crayola_Taste_Tester

Totally sang that to the tune. not too shabby ![gif](giphy|K55exy0toWjQc|downsized)


wn0991

No joke took me like 20 minutes to get it right


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wn0991

Thanks!


jedielfninja

between this and the we can't buckle up any further post is superstonk it has been a great evening for this ape.


AkakieAkakievich

“Iiiiiiiihh just want to short you” Edit: didn’t mean to surf completely away from Eminem’s to Dido’s


wn0991

Cuz I've got to pay my ex wife 😂


ArmAfter

Ain’t life a bitch 😂


wherezthesquezzz

Friggin amen to that…even good 🦍 fall prey to the evil ex wife


Aleistah

Coz I've got to pay my wifes bf ?


ArmAfter

Round of applause…


torkcheese

I’m an idiot I read that in the gangsters paradise melody but it did not disappoint


sportsroc15

Huh?


cheesingMyB

Dear Marge, I wrote you but you still ain't callin I left DD, screenshots, and links at the bottom I sent two emails back in March, you must not-a got em There was probably a problem at the server or somethin Sometimes I fat finger addresses too sloppy when I type em But anyways, fuck it, what's been up? Man how's your collateral? My tits are jacked too, I'm bout to pop em If I rip my shirt. Guess what I'll do I'll buy another I read about your buddy Vlad too I'm sorry I had a friend who was a Bulgarian boy once too I know you probably hear this every day, but I'm your biggest fan I even caught that airplane shit you did you did to scam In short, I like the stock, I'm not a cat, man I like the shit you did with Stevie too. That shit was phat Anyways, I hope you get this man, hit me back Just to chat, truly yours, your biggest fan, This is cheese. Dear Ken, you still ain't closed or wrote, I hope you have a chance I ain't mad, I'm zen as fuck, kick that can If you didn't want to close your shorts You didn't have to, but you could've acknowledged the facts too That's my portfolio, is like 8 months old We waited through dips and rips for you For 3 full cycles and you just said No That's pretty shitty man, you're like fuckin idle My portfolio likes you more than I do I ain't mad. I just don't like being lied to Remember when you read the laws, you said you'd follow them See Vlad's just like you in a way He never followed the laws neither He always used to cheat on his tests and freebase ether I can relate to what you're hiding in your swaps So when I have a shitty day, I check the ticker and carry on Cause I don't really got shit else and that shit helps when I'm depressed I even got a tattoo of a rocket across my chest Sometimes I buy more shares just to watch them bleed It's like adrenaline. The red's a sudden rush for me See nothing you say is real, and I expect you to tell it My wife's bf is jealous because I talk about you 24/7 But he don't know you like I know you, Ken, no one does He don't know what the DD says or when a stock goes up, you gotta close man I'll be your biggest fan. You will lose Sincerely yours. Cheese P.s. see you on the moon Dear mister "I'm too deep to close my shorts" This will be the last cycle before the courts It's been 8 months and still no close? I don't deserve it? I know Gary got my last two SEC complaints I wrote the addresses on em perfect So this is my consent, I'm sending you, I hope you see it I'm on the web now, buying 90 more freely Hey Ken, I got a pay check now, dare me to buy? You know that song by Vlad? Robbinghood tonight? About that guy who shouldn't've stopped that other guy from buyin? But did, Apes saw it and showed the whole world, you cryin? That's exactly how this is, you could've allowed buying Now it's too late, we're all in and keep trying All we want now is a lousy margin call I hope you know my wife's bf got ripped and is tall We love you Ken, we could've been together. Think about it You've ruined it now, I hope you have to buy and dream about it And when you dream I hope you can't sleep and scream about it I hope your conscience eats at you and you can't afford mayo Aannnd I'm spent. The Cheese... out


Interesting_Hair_191

im in tear this is beautiful some make this on youtube we need this! ![gif](emote|free_emotes_pack|sob)


clownbaby_r

This is Grammy-level quality. Thank you for this, cheese. Edit: a youtube version might break the internet, be careful. with great power comes great responsibility.


Kvnbtta

Holy shit this is perfect I just sang this in its entirety while pooping on the toilet it’s so spot on it flows 🦍


scottygras

They f’ing killed it. Made me so happy. The wife even got a chuckle…


Foreplay241

Uhhhh, are you me?


FantasyThrowaway321

Outstanding, you deserve a base in the moon named after you for this!


CaptainMagnets

Holy fuck that was brilliant. Can we collectively come together and try to get Eminem to do this remix?


6dixon

Lost my fucking shit at freebase ether


soberdude

Dear Cheese, I tried to shake you. I been real busy. You said your portfolio is 8 month old, How diversified is it? Look, I'm really flattered you read the DD, that's cool Here's a synthetic for your account, I bought it a dark pool. Sorry you expect me to close, you must've missed it too. MSM said you're the bad guy, cause we paid them to. But what's this shit about cycles and buying more shares? That's just a meme man, don't you care? You like DD? Read this shit too: "Forget GameStop, Here What's New" We write that shit all the time, for people like you. You got some issues Cheese, I think you need to see this: "Reddit targeting short sellers!" Can you believe this? And what's this shit about getting a Margin Call? Don't you know who I am? Won't happen at all. I really think you should just sell, price is dropping again. You should do it soon, trust me, I'm your friend. I was talking to Gary G the other day, Said a Market Maker was going to jail, but he didn't say who. Come to think about it... **BANG BANG BANG** FBI! Come with us Griffin!


Interesting_Hair_191

its beautiful


soberdude

Thank you.


rddtact

Commenting now on this legendary thread to be part of history !!


-Username_t8ken-

* mic drop *


KwaziiTheCat

Best thing I’ve read all week. Crushed. The rhymes. The rhythm. Cheese you got bars


adam2222

“Oh shit how am I supposed to send this trade out?”


Interesting_Hair_191

you got me rollin


pastanoooodles

Daaaamn dude, just wow, I’m so happy to be on your side of the battlefield here


6dixon

Lost my shit at freebase ether


csdyayouknowme

Ok this is the hype vid we need


scottygras

Please lord…I need more hype videos.


Sumeung-Gai

"sometimes I buy more shares just to watch em bleed, its like adrenaline...." BRUH look at dis dood


LitRonSwanson

Sweet jeebus this is the best fucking thing I have seen in a while, you creative motherfucker. Awesome job ape. Wonder how much it'll cost to have slim shady spit that at the Citadel moving out party


here_for_the_bets

![gif](giphy|VMO6qeIbr7JRLnLTGw) Pure gold man


nicolbolas69

You are a genius. Love the "dare me to buy?" line so much.


BigBradWolf77

Think Slim would do a rendition for a good cause? 😉


mystiquemiss

See Ken, shut up Vlad I'm trying to talk! Hey Ken, soon you'll be living from your trunk And not because of apes, you just fucked up, we aren't like you But when you fuck with trades, who suffers more? Look around you Well, gotta go, time to buys some dips now, see you soon Oh shit I forgot, how I'm supposed to see you from the moon?


nezukoslaying

Beautiful, absolutely.


Affectionate_Ad7668

This is better than anything on Donda


Fit_Dinner9826

Except for MOON! That one hits home for me!! 😜🤑😜🤑


BrainWrinklesGone

Great! Flows perfect. Glad to HODL with you


Xifajk

This is one of the greatest comments on Reddit.


mranglin

“that’s pretty shitty man, you’re like fuckin idle” got me 😂😂 this is EPIC


edwinbarnesc

Give'm the flair EminApe


foddawg

I'm smiling ear to ear. That was a pleasure to read. Hope someone here can perform this


JohnnyBoyandKiller

Haha perfect!


ThirdAltAccounts

The best r/Redditsings material ever! Em would be proud Edit: someone needs to record it so it can be part of the soundtrack of on the upcoming $GME movies


oblivion555

Holy moly. That's insanely good!


ClaidArremer

Man that was perfect.


you-are-a-dumb-ho

How does this man only have one gold? I’d buy you one but all my money goes to GameStop...


Mighty_Spartan

🔥


Dark_Boring

You deserve that vibing award haha when did they add that shit that's hilarious


nottagoodidea

Oh hell yes!


RexxHolez

Well fucking done friend. My jeebus, that was sexxy 🤤


KleptoBrain

Deserves a post!


apogreba

God damn this was beautiful. thank you


mystiquemiss

amazing.


Tyrant-Tyra

TLDR?


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tornaceyells

Record this over the video STAT! And give this guy Eminem Guy flair


buyandhoard

reading this with instrumental https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tVdhHktuAmo


The_Real_King713

This is the way.


Interesting_Hair_191

this is some gold tier posting my friend


Climbwithzack

Write and perform the whole song


foddawg

Wish I was talented enough for that, but I'm sure some other Apes out here will be able to get on it. We need some new hype material


DayVDave

Dear Mr. "I'm too good to close my short position" This'll be the last message I send to you It's been 8 months and still no close I don't deserve it I know Gary got my last 2 SEC complaints, I wrote the addresses on them perfect So this is my manifesto I'm sending you, I hope you hear it You know that song by Rick Astley "Never gonna give you up, Never gonna let you down" About that guy, and that girl, and about how he's never gonna give her up? That's kinda how this is You could have closed your position in January But now it's too late There's thousands more all holding just like me And all we want is what you stole in the fall I hope you know we haven't forgotten 2008 at all I love this stonk, it could have been yours, think about it But you ruined it now, I hope you can't sleep and you dream about GameStop When you dream I hope you can't sleep and you scream about GameStop I hope your conscience eats at you and you can't sleep without GameStop See Kenny - shut up bitch I'm tryin' to talk Hey Kenny, that's my girlfriend screaming in my bed with her boyfriend But I won't kick them out, I'm fine with it I'm not like you Because if he satisfies her, that's less for me to do Well, gotta go, we're almost at squeeze time Don't forget, you had your chance, now all the tendies are gonna be mine


D1AM0NDHAND

Can someone please rap this and record it!!??


GoGoRouterRangers

Is Eminem on that app where you pay the celebraties to make a video? Could be a worthy investment for this haha


D1AM0NDHAND

I'll chip in if so


hawkmasta

He's too private to do something like that.


GoGoRouterRangers

Yeah looks like the app is called "cameo" and he ain't on it


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HalfCatHalfShill

Hey Kenny, that's my girlfriend screaming in my bed with her boyfriend But I won't kick them out, I'm fine with it I'm not like you Because if he satisfies her, that's less for me to do Well, gotta go, we're almost at squeeze time Straight fire


Jonnie_Rocket

I love this


Interesting_Hair_191

lets goooooooooooooo


Crayola_Taste_Tester

![gif](giphy|3o72FcJmLzIdYJdmDe)


Climbwithzack

Fucking brilliant.


JROD5195

Have my free award🏆


dasstewy

Sing it and take this damn award


LordAmherst

This is priceless! Or is it?


rddtact

This is beautiful.


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Interesting_Hair_191

my stocks gone red i wonder why, i even bought at all. the morning shorts roll in and push it, even further down. and i cant buy all the dip, but even if i could it would still be red, cause of your dark pool BS, and it reminds me how corrupt you are, you f#### pos.- to the man kenny g here your chorus boys do with it what you will


DontTrip781

I heard that play in my head


Disastrous_Ad_1431

Definitely New Hype Material Needed... MAD HYPE!!!!!


sl4pchop

This is what I call content. Make it happen!


IAM_notleaving

Came up with some bars to continue on this as I take a shit. This will be the third time we try to put you in submission We heard someone was running low On Mayo in their kitchen You flyin around trying to hide your money, cuz you planning ditching When everyone turns on you and starts snitching Gmerica is the new vision Got you in the scope Even when you and Steve In the bedroom kissin Disclosure: This is in no way dissing I just happened to think you Kenny when I was in the bathroom Shitting 💩💩💩💩💩💩💩


Caged_in_a_rage

Amazing. Very creative and very funny.


Rare_Bunch1976

Just don’t drive off the bridge then the sec finally shows up


mommaluvernorubber

Spaghetti is falling out of my pockets.


AkakieAkakievich

Mom’s spaghetti?


mommaluvernorubber

Is someone else gonna make them


RussianCrabMan

​ ![gif](giphy|NEvPzZ8bd1V4Y|downsized)


GuerrillaGluApe

This is gold… I hope a song is incoming


MAST3RMIND88

Yesss! Eminem memes! Titties are jacked!


Salty-Helicopter4571

I heard this in my head as I read this - such a hard hitting song


aureanator

This is the quality content I come here for


JohnnyBalboa2020

That is fucking great!!! I really think you and my gme shares need each other, or maybe you just need to treat them better. I hope you get to read this letter…


sahbatage

Why doesn’t this have 1000 upvotes yet. Bravo sir, bravo👏🏼


thextcninja

Shills.


OutrageousSoftware84

We hodled in the blistering cold for you for 8 months we’ve never sold and you just said no


foddawg

Amazing!


GotShadowbanned2

Puttin' you in the ground now is my one and only mission


Euphoric_Car_6688

If you had, one short, or one opportunity, to squeeze everything you ever wanted, one margin, would you capture it? Or just let it dip. *mom's spaghetti* -Amenem


Mgagnon820

Emoonem*


BigBradWolf77

Ramenem 🍲


Gunzenator2

“I heard you got all the Mayo in yo’ kitchen Flying round the world, lookin for billons While apes eatin ramen, sleepin and chillin


SignificantPay254

Get me the full lyrics and I can put it together with the music


TheTrueWillx2

This is so good! I wish I had an award to give.


j3ffrolol

This is the kind of elite content I subscribe to r/GME for. Take my award!


leftturnmike

Tendies gone cold I'm wondering why my mom won't heat them up Morning DD on my cellphone, but I can't read at all And even if I could with my smooth brain, crayon scrawls on my wall And it reminds me that it's all just FUD, it's all just FUD


Interesting_Hair_191

💎🙌🏻


ZIPP3RH3AD

When I tell you I literally choked on air…


loud-spider

Excellent


Bgal31089

Lolololo


DeepBlue143

Bravo my friend, bravo


Jonnie_Rocket

This is gold


EFCgaming

![gif](giphy|3oxHQk6QrBhANSBBo4)


PapiChulo1322

when i dont have an award to give this gem appears smh


ATC-FK38

😂 absolutely awesome! Eminem fan way back in the day. I can’t tell you how much this made me smile 😄


CRM2018

Lmfao


GuitarHero1196

“I’m doin 90 on the freeway”


BustyDriftwood

I wrote you but you still ain’t callin 🎶


Pho_King_Noodle

Ducking gold buddy!!


ConnectRutabaga3925

Haha well done.


step-lego-wat-u-doin

They can't close the shorts because of the massive green dildo moving towards their rear.


Elle-Cabrera

I’m standing up in front of my screen rn slow clapping you. This is brilliant.


hawkmasta

Eminem and GME‽ 2 of my favorite topics!


TheDevilHimself_777

It takes time for the globale market to crash... just chill buddies


Disastrous_Ad_1431

Reppin the D... Mad love Fam as this is my hometown!!!!!


sadak66

313!!


Disastrous_Ad_1431

Neighbors!!!!!


Weak_Handed_1

810


Disastrous_Ad_1431

586


greenmanofthewoods

Creative. On point. I like it.


PropertyAdorable5246

I've been thinking that Gary may have been bullied in school and was never able to stand up for himself. And he is being bullied by Citadel and doesn't know how to do his job.


SuspiciouslyStikySox

Fuck! This is good!!!


Klawhi123

lmfaoooooooo yes


occams_raven

God finally someone used the correct term.


SpankyNoodle

Listened to this song just yesterday! 🚀 🚀


obenjab

Hello? Is this buttfarmer ? He was writing a Twitter monologue to SEC


Reisyz97

LOOOOOLL


derrida_n_shit

This will be the last message I ever send you bitchin'


oblivion555

Nice 🚀


orton31

My wife's boyfriend is pregnant now, how far along is he?


lazydrippin

i love you all ❤️


GME_to_the_moon96

APEISH


Scuba_Steve_7_7_7

Nice!


Alternative_Mix_6865

This is perfect XD


Evening_Raccoon_4689

And marge still ain't been callin


Purple-Television522

Now this is some funny shit... I'm going to throw this around!


OneLifeCycle

Gary got them, and then promptly threw them in the shredder bin then called Kenny G and they laughed about it.


Electricengineer

YO this is Stan, why you never close those shorts?


29Lex_HD

😂😂😩


Individual-Fennel254

Best rapper


Individual-Fennel254

Upvote ^


Historical-Builder-8

Take this award you deserve it.


monti9530

Look you little bitch


Fritzkreig

You didn't get an email back, I got an email from an underling back, at least!


Simpinforbirdo

The mood tbh


Scare_Conditioner

Here I'll scream with you, SOMEBODY SELL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Fuck, wrong song....... I may be high.


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naamalbezet

The letter writer is the bad person in the song/video you know this right? Guy murders his pregnant girlfriend and commits suicide because he doesn't get a letter from the entertainer he's stalking. ​ A lot of memes seem to actually equate us to the bad guys in movies/songs/shows etc... I don't know if that is a good thing


FeistyFudger

Why would they close their positions? Assuming they opened some when it was 300$+, they're very profitable and since the fee is extremely low, there's no reason to close them.


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Dark_Boring

And they said were stupid loll? How long that take you to come up with that loll


foddawg

The image took a couple minutes. The title... That took longer than I'd like to admit lol. Plenty of fun had though listening to Stan on repeat while at work. Ive been in zen mode since March anyway 🙃


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slappn_cappn

oh man, here come the stans, pretending like they can write like the man to make an epic comparison between a rap gods lyrics and manipulation while i don't disagree with the direction we're heading don't get it twisted, i'm not a shill and this is just the beginning. in case you missed it, we're not going anywhere, and im not selling