By - ExpertAccident
Awww I was gonna say that
Cute. But yeah…
I see some “Toys-Я-Us” kids in their 40’s being offended by this…
Well take my upvote at least
I’m too immature to be offended
I had a high school English teacher who used "your landlords" and jokingly referred to us as "human spawn", "spawn" for short. She was really into sci-fi and it was more amusing than anything else. One kid once said "what if im fungi and not human spawn?"
Without missing a beat she said "okay young sporangium."
We need definitely more geek teachers in the world
A lot of these people complaining have not worked around children of different backgrounds, and it shows.
I will never forget one of my first few years as a teachers aid. I kept prompting a kid to work on his Father’s Day card. Until he finally started crying and yelled, “I don’t have a Father”.
I tried to scramble, and save it and ensure him that I’m sure he had one male that loved him. We decided to make one for his uncle. It didn’t matter, damage was done. Sometimes a hole in the heart where a parent should be, isn’t patched just because “others” love you.
I had all kinds of families in my 3rd grade classes. In view of this I called Mother’s and Father’s Day special people day and encouraged my students to pick a special someone to celebrate.
The solution to preventing a gaffe like that would be that the teachers get a chance to know the kids they're taking care of. I grew up without a father myself and my kindergarten teachers were aware of that and knew that it was a sensitive issue. We only had 10-15 kids in the group, so it was possible for them to actually know the children.
The solution is not to "not offend anyone", that is simply not good enough.
Reminds me of rule 6 from the rules that Mr. Roger had for translating an idea for children:
The nine steps for translating into Freddish:
1) “State the idea you wish to express as clearly as possible, and in terms preschoolers can understand.” Example: It is dangerous to play in the street.
2) “Rephrase in a positive manner,” as in It is good to play where it is safe.
3) “Rephrase the idea, bearing in mind that preschoolers cannot yet make subtle distinctions and need to be redirected to authorities they trust.” As in, “Ask your parents where it is safe to play.”
4) “Rephrase your idea to eliminate all elements that could be considered prescriptive, directive, or instructive.” In the example, that’d mean getting rid of “ask”: Your parents will tell you where it is safe to play.
5) “Rephrase any element that suggests certainty.” That’d be “will”: Your parents can tell you where it is safe to play.
6) “Rephrase your idea to eliminate any element that may not apply to all children.” Not all children know their parents, so: Your favorite grown-ups can tell you where it is safe to play.
7) “Add a simple motivational idea that gives preschoolers a reason to follow your advice.” Perhaps: Your favorite grown-ups can tell you where it is safe to play. It is good to listen to them.
8) “Rephrase your new statement, repeating the first step.” “Good” represents a value judgment, so: Your favorite grown-ups can tell you where it is safe to play. It is important to try to listen to them.
9) “Rephrase your idea a ﬁnal time, relating it to some phase of development a preschooler can understand.” Maybe: Your favorite grown-ups can tell you where it is safe to play. It is important to try to listen to them, and listening is an important part of growing.
I’ve seen some teachers (for younger grades) use the term “raisins” bc it refers to whomever is raisin’ you and I think that’s really cute
Omg that’s adorable 😭
Kids can live with their grandparents, aunt/uncles, cousins, guardians, etc.
Serious question (I don’t have experience in this field so I mean it):
Can’t grandparents be parents?
Adopted parents be parents?
Adopting auntie be acting parent?
Guardians be essentially parents?
Aren’t these all, acting-parents?
Does parent have to mean biological parent?
I get how mom and dad can get a bit murky depending on the complicated life circumstance but I don’t see why parent isn’t a universal term unless they’re being brought by their … uh…..butler?
You are in a way right. But there are kids out there who will vehemently yell at you saying "so and so is not my mom/dad/parent!!!" if you use the word parent. In a way lots of kids attribute the gender neutral term "parent" to a "mom/dad" figure. If they don't have one, they may reject the term, some in a very large outburst.
Hence "guardian" is sometimes used, but kids have all sorts of ways of coping so sometimes even "guardian" doesn't sit right with them, its important to be as inclusive as possible especially if you are working with a demographic of students who are living in a nontraditional home setting.
And just as an example. I worked with one student who would shut down whenever I told the class to get their "parents" to sign the permission slip or to ask their "parents" this or that. I asked him why he'd would withdraw or even walk off. And turns out he was being taken care of and raised by his sister, his only relative within the area. And words like "parent" triggered his loss, even though its been a few years. He explained he felt like he couldn't because he only had a sister, and that he couldn't ask because he felt she didn't have the same authority as a parent and that his life felt broken and uncomfortable when people would say things that would remind him of his lack of parents.
He told me hated it especially when people mistook his sister for his mom. Because of this, I asked what he'd like to hear instead, he shrugged and we brainstormed for a bit and came up with "caregiver/caretaker". Moving forward I used caregiver, and he felt more comfortable giving paperwork and info to his sister.
Its kids like these that educators are willing to make adjustments. Its not for the comfort of the adults taking care of them or the adults looking on. Its for the comfort of the kids.
Interesting, Thanks for sharing your insight
Thank you for asking!
Sometimes it can be a foster parent that's a child's temp guardian and the child still views mom and dad as their parents even while not in their custody.
I had custody of a child temporarily but he kind of made a joke out of it to feel better I suppose. My nephew would call me Auntie Mom and my husband Uncle Daddy when we had custody of him. But he was still very distraught that he wasn't with his mother and I could hear him crying sometimes after I would put him to bed because he missed her.
At the time I wouldn't have been surprised if I had received a phone call from school saying he got upset over something like hearing "your parents" from a teacher. It was a very emotional time for him.
But parents means to “Be or act as a parent”, so essentially just a parental figure. It’s still valid. Too each their own though.
It’s the fact that in some cases you have to put yourself in the child’s perspective I think. A young kid hasn’t got the life experience to associate a “parent” as a generic care giver. At that age, they only think mom and dad. You can try to teach them differently, but it might be received about as well as telling a kid born without a hand that they are different and not to feel bad about it, but they won’t understand WHY they are different, especially when every kid who has one is asking why they don’t have one. It seems like an extreme analogy to you and me because we understand so much at our age, but at their age they are still wrapping their mind around the concept that certain things are “normal”, and they feel bad for not being just like their friends. The kid can be taught that having one parent is ok, but the other 20 kids in class asking why they have 2 parents while the other kid has 1 parent just makes it confusing. And other kids don’t get the same explanation because it’s never needed, so they will always see that kid as different as well and don’t understand it can be hurtful to point out the differences (which is why you get kids in stores going ‘look how fat that person is!’ or the like).
I disagree with your point that kids only think mom and dad. For kids who have one, that may be the case. Using other language in kindergarten may soften that impression for all, though, so I applaud the effort made as described by OP.
Talking to all kids about their parents as grown ups and this normalising all kinds of constellations makes being the odd one out with one parent, being raised by an uncle, whatever, easier.
That is kind of…. Exactly what I was saying. The problem I pointed out is that most kids don’t get people to talk to them about it. I said yes that exact thing needs to happen more often to normalize that people aren’t all the same.
Because you need to change everything and force everyone to comply in order to exert power over others. It’s all about power.
Bruh some kids just live with their grandparents or other family members, it’s really not that deep.
Here’s my take. It’s not a real problem. We’re solving non issues while real issues remain unsolved… this is what we’re focusing on… it’s a waste of time. No one was offended being called a parent. It’s value of time for me… this is just a waste of brainpower
I really hope that’s not how you answer questions in real life. Being a condescending ass is the easiest way to make people not like you lmao
Apologies for my misunderstanding
It's okay, you thought I was being a condescending ass, and condescending asses should be called out.
Wow, you certainly come across like you hate people to learn lol.
I’m not saying that was your intent at all. I’m sure you’re quite the nice fellow.
But based off that way your post was written, it seems like Information flow stops with you.
hey, it me, i refer to my kids families as their grown ups. Fellow teachers, do this as well. Fuck it, everyone, just do this. inclusion is awesome.
12 million Karma in 2 years. Get the fuck out of here reposter.
Start reposting and get some karma then.
When it comes to the schoolwork I've been doing, I never use the term 'Parents', despite the material utilizing it. I mean, yes, some of them are parents to the children we teach, but I prefer to say 'Guardians'. Feels more inclusive to me.
Though, I do also wonder if I could use a better non-favoritive term for the people in a child's life that takes care of them that isn't simply 'Carer'...
Damn our kindergarteners don’t know what the word guardian means? This is why China is winning.
This was my thought. We used parent or guardian when I was a kid. What's wrong with guardian? And what if their 14 year old sibling got emancipated and is the guardian? That's not a grown up! That kid is excluded by this verbiage!
Sigh no one appreciates a good joke anymore
It’s really sad that you feel that way. I’ve (museum teacher and college professor) encountered a lot of students being raised by their grandparents, family friends, adoptive parents, foster families, and aunts or uncles.
Being inclusive of those situations doesn’t harm students being raised by their biological parents.
This is great, and prevents a lot of potential awkwardness - especially for kids! Even as an adult I get asked questions about my mom (she passed when I was 19) and it is awkward for both parties saying she’s dead. This allows for skipping over that no matter the situation.
Referring to parents as “your grown-ups” is not inclusive.
It is if they live with grandparents or guardians. It's just a way to acknowledge adults in their lives in a way that doesn't assume those adults are a mother/father combo. I work with children and ther are so many who do not have parents at home.
Are you saying that referring to grown ups in the household instead of using the term parents is bullying to children who have a mother/father at home or am I misunderstanding your response?
You’re probably misunderstanding it. You people tend to only hear what you want to.
"you people" 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
It definitely is. It’s a very rare family indeed where the econo-psycho-social caretaker(s) of a child are not adults.
It implies ownership and doesn’t include the most vulnerable children who are living in group homes and other institutions. The term “care givers” is much more inclusive.
They still have “grownups” in a group home, and children are still assigned to certain caregivers in those situations. This wasn’t even your original objection
Also, just because it’s not _completely_ inclusive doesn’t preclude it from being _more_ inclusive
No the institution has employees who work shifts. Some of the children have case workers, but these are not the children’s adults.
Yeah, and they’re still assigned to “sections” of children. They know their names and temperaments. Even if they have three sets of grown-ups, they’re still there to support them.
Knowing a kid’s name and temperament does not mean that you care about them, much less belong to them.
But it means to them, you can. It’s about how the kid feels about you, not about who you are.
That's the stupidest shit you've ever heard? Wow, you're sheltered. No wonder you go off hair triggered over a literal nonissue. Maybe go sit outside and have a banana.
You probably don't belong in this sub.
Off to the downvote lane you go.
I don’t care. Down votes don’t mean anything. It is literally the most impotent expression of disagreement on earth.
> I don’t care. Down votes don’t mean anything. It is literally the most impotent expression of disagreement on earth.
That wasn't really the point of their comment. It was a shorthand way of saying "I think most people who read your comment are going to disagree with you." Nobody really cares about the points.
I don’t need their affirmation, so I dont care about them disagreeing with me. You can’t “cancel” someone who doesn’t care about your opinion.
>It is literally the most impotent expression of disagreement on earth.
You're the expert on impotence
Hardly, I’m not the one taking a “down vote” seriously.
Why are you here if you're so intent on making people upset?
This sub is called /r/MadeMeSmile, and you're just picking fights with people. Why?
I’m not picking fights with anybody. I’m trying to help people do the right thing.
No, you're responding with the specific intention of making people angry, which is the opposite of what this sub is about, and is explicitly against the rules of this sub.
No I’m not. I just want to educate people so that they can be better people.
Thank you for the upvote. I hope that you have a great day.
In our Kindergarten, the teachers know the families of the kids and they are able to correctly say mom, dad, or whatever is appropriate.
"Your grown ups" is not kind or inclusive. It is the result of anonymous and impersonal child care combined with a culture where everybody gets offended for the most trivial reasons. Is it really an issue if a teacher refers to a kid's mom and dad? If the kid doesn't live with the
mom and dad, this can be clarified, no big deal really.
I mean, it would be a mouthful to say "alright kids, get this form signed by your mom, dad, grandparents, older siblings, foster parents, legal guardians, etc" rather than just; "get this form signed by your grown ups". like others have said, everyone's situation is different. by using such a broad term, none of the kids would feel alienated (like those who doesn't have a conventional mom/dad present) and the teacher doesn't have to go out of their way to memorize every students caretakers. Plus, it puts a fun spin on it, and I am willing to bet that the kids find it funny rather than impersonal.
Ok, this makes sense to me. Maybe I'm over-imagining things here.
Out of all the collective nouns for a whole gamut of different people
And *this* is what you get offended about?
Learn to love language.
This is not about language at all.
Wouldn't you find it strange if a teacher didn't know the names of the children and referred to everyone as "you there"? This is basically the same, the teacher only needs a generic term if they don't know what's appropriate for the individual child.
Teachers are stretched thin enough as it is. No one can expect them to know the inner workings of 40 different family structures. Sometimes an additional 40 if kindergarten classes are half days.
Don’t be purposely dense. Be better.
You do not think it's an issue if a teacher has to take care of 40 or even 80 kids? In ours,
it's 20 kids per group - and it's not
anonymous. You're taking these dystopian child care conditions for granted and blaming me for not having a positive attitude about it.
Unnecessary but okay
Kids can live with their aunts uncles, guardians, grandparents, cousins, etc., so I think it makes sense.
Yea I lived with my grandparents growing up and I never cried myself to sleep at night when teachers referred to them as “your parents”
…good for you…?
It’s an unnecessary gesture that would just make them think about the one thing you want them to not think about. It’s dumb
You're telling others to chill out, yet you're the only one insulting others in this thread.
Yay now the 1% of strange arrangements won’t be offended….ugh GTF over it! It’s life not fair.
you would literally tell a kindergarten aged kid to "get over it and not be offended"? you're going to tell a 6 y/o to stop being a wittle snowflake? you want their candy while you're at it too?
For the record, I don’t not like grownups, I just worry it would offend little people parents! Think we should use the term owners. Pa-rents just sounds like someone renting/not fully committed.
Yes so many people were triggered by this concept.
Huh? That’s weird…should go like this:
Teacher: Hello, are you (Student)’s Parent?
Guardian: Yes I am/No, I’m her (role).
Teacher: Okay thank you so much for coming please get seated so we can talk about (Student).
I think they mean when addressing the class not the guardians. It would go like that when talking with an adult yes, but this is more
Teacher: alright class take these permission slips home to your grown-ups to sign and bring back in.
This way those with out traditional parents feel included.
Ohhhhh that makes more sense! I totally thought parent teacher conferences lol
This kind of minimizes parents tbh. Everyone older is a grown up and she is the teacher. This sets her apart from the kids parents and could give her more authority over the children.
What's wrong with "parents"??
"Your grown ups" I guess works on more levels. If raised by an Uncle or Aunt or grandparents.
Let's go full Conehead. "Parental Units". It doesn't convey anything except who is parenting you.
Caregiver might be too formal but so is "your grown ups". I like the conehead idea.
I don't think it's an issue with "parents" but including other relatives or friends that care for a child. I had a grandmother that wasn't related to me who helped raise me because my mother worked and father wasn't around. My friends on native land had aunts and uncles who have the same authority to handle a child as if they were their parent. The old saying "it takes a village"
Okay but what if their parent is a 13 year old? They wouldn't be a grownup. This is actually very ageist, yikes.
please tell me this is satire. even in kindergarten, a child would have to be at least 4/5. even having a kid at 12 would make the parent at least 16. which the child would consider as a grown up since it is their parent.
That’s a great idea
Is this inclusive or just a way to reassure yourself that you are indeed a grownup and not a child who gawks at the way someone subtlety changes their use of pronouns lol
Why not use guardian?
Mother and father are terms worth respecting. It is disrespectful to call me anything other than a mother when referring to my parenthood.
"alright class, get this permission slip signed by your grown ups. except you Tommy, you get yours signed by your Mother"
Tfw you realize guardians and grandparents exist
They arent your parents nor is it the norm for children to be raised by someone other than their parents.
Yes, but I’m pretty sure that generic emails from kindergartens and the like don’t say “Dear mothers…” Same difference. When you address a class of people sometimes you need to go to the lowest common denominator.
No you address the most common. In this case the teacher should say dear parents.
Way to devalue nuclear, natural parenthood
🤨 nobody is devaluing ANYTHING by including grandparents, guardians, aunt, uncles, or cousins.
Watered down society Period we’re all just walking sacks of skin. No gender, no race, no culture.
This inclusive new world you speak of is going to be watered down. No one will have any personality except for the Approved Meta.
Once again, we childish fathers are totally disenfranchised. You are all POOPY HEADS!!
Woke run amok
No! It assumes ownership over the legal guardians by the kids! That is not okay! /s
Homeless toddlers are always left out.