T O P

This has to be the single funniest thing I’ve had the pleasure of being a part of

This has to be the single funniest thing I’ve had the pleasure of being a part of

_Kallo

"oddly specific lol" *N O*


carliker

Cavewoman


ModBotsMayBiteMyButt

nerdy/genius Must be able to make fire


[deleted]

[удалено]


marshall_dteach

I was trying to imagine it.... Is that even possible lol


Passage-Constant

Lol yeah, girth is "around" like a belt, not through like the diameter


PeteRows

4 inches long. 4 inches wide. Won't hit bottom, But I'll bust out the side. Girth (circumference) is around the lake. Diameter is across the lake.


Rabbit-Thrawy

6 around is like, big for a dick but not as big as you'd think


Cod_rules

Picks up straight sticks for the fire as well. Dream man!


NoPhrase3484

I LAUGHED SO HARD WHEN I SAW THAT, all she said was “No” Imagine someone coming up to you irl for a first date, looks at you, says “no,” and walks away 😭 i feel so bad for laughing omg


Tall-Cantaloupe-1800

There are the ones that don't say "no" out loud, get their free dinner and then say it was nice to meet you... Same thing as the "no" but costs more.


NoPhrase3484

I call those people scammers


JuVondy

NEXT!


Flo_Evans

You measure the circumference of your Johnson because it’s not a perfect cylinder come on man.


dogsforsuffrage

Maybe yours isn’t


FineItalianArtwork

This got me :D


INTERNET_POLICE_MAN

Look at Mr Coke Cans over here


Skipper_60

My nickname is RC Cola


MaddScientist98

So it's extra syrupy and tastes flat?


Genghis27KicksMyAss

No because it’s almost impossible to find.


Trick-Service-8401

Fucking amazing


AmirAkhrif

What 6" long and 6" wide. Square cock?


Genghis27KicksMyAss

They call that The Wrecktangle. TY for the awards!


raysmittie

Brilliant.


DustinMiles1989

REKTANGLE


That_Bad_Dad

if I only had more to give, brilliant answer.


kim-jong-Cage

Mine is not a jackhammer, it's an hidraulic press


epic_pig

We must deal wid it, because it could attakk at any tiem


c_radicallis

This cracked me up


Lightmareman

Yeah! Mines shaped exactly like a can full can of pringles


IAmWhatTheRockCooked

as opposed to an empty can of pringles?


CalloftheWilhelm

Well, once you pop, you just can't stop.


DrManhattan_DDM

Once I pop that is absolutely when I stop.


C4RD804RD80X

Less air


averagethrowaway21

Mine is shaped like a can of tuna.


pharfromhuman

Mine is shaped like a cheese wheel


averagethrowaway21

[Look, a wagon wheel!](https://youtu.be/ThnZcNZKnPI)


[deleted]

[удалено]


reply-guy-bot

The above comment was stolen from [this one](http://np.reddit.com/r/Tinder/comments/poxyff/this_has_to_be_the_single_funniest_thing_ive_had/hd19wwj/) elsewhere in this comment section. It is probably not a coincidence; here is some more evidence against this user: Plagiarized | Original -------- | ----------- [Me laughs in an unpatched...](http://np.reddit.com/r/gaming/comments/popz5s/at_least_we_have_bluetooth_now/hd1o7jg/) | [Me laughs in an unpatched...](http://np.reddit.com/r/gaming/comments/popz5s/at_least_we_have_bluetooth_now/hczrg3e/) [Memory and slow ass hard...](http://np.reddit.com/r/gaming/comments/pourxc/the_eternal_question/hd1o62o/) | [Memory and slow ass hard...](http://np.reddit.com/r/gaming/comments/pourxc/the_eternal_question/hczoisf/) [This is a drowning baby t...](http://np.reddit.com/r/Damnthatsinteresting/comments/poqxdf/a_baby_turtle_chasing_its_tail_like_a_dog/hd1nwmw/) | [This is a drowning baby t...](http://np.reddit.com/r/Damnthatsinteresting/comments/poqxdf/a_baby_turtle_chasing_its_tail_like_a_dog/hczu8p9/) [Dunno if it's the cynic i...](http://np.reddit.com/r/LivestreamFail/comments/powonl/esfand_on_nick_after_finding_out_about_the_breakup/hd1nu89/) | [Dunno if it's the cynic i...](http://np.reddit.com/r/LivestreamFail/comments/powonl/esfand_on_nick_after_finding_out_about_the_breakup/hd06h2b/) [Subway Sandwiches are act...](http://np.reddit.com/r/Tinder/comments/pouzf9/just_saw_this_bio/hd1o1cy/) | [Subway Sandwiches are act...](http://np.reddit.com/r/Tinder/comments/pouzf9/just_saw_this_bio/hd03tuv/) [From the picture it is qu...](http://np.reddit.com/r/Damnthatsinteresting/comments/posaxe/high_school_student_lebron_james_meeting_michael/hd1ny7j/) | [From the picture it is qu...](http://np.reddit.com/r/Damnthatsinteresting/comments/posaxe/high_school_student_lebron_james_meeting_michael/hcz2z6e/) beep boop, I'm a bot -|:] It is this bot's opinion that [/u/nbfss67](https://np.reddit.com/u/nbfss67/) should be banned for karma manipulation. Don't feel bad, they are probably a bot too. Confused? Read the [FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/user/reply-guy-bot/comments/n9fpva/faq/?plagiarist=nbfss67) for info on how I work and why I exist.


Zelian820

If we pretend the sausage in question had a circular cross section, it’s diameter would be 6/pi or about 1.91 inches. The real salami is going to have a more oblong cross section. Meaning it would be even wider, probably more than 2 inches wide. If you want my 2¢ and/or my 2 inches, the person who wrote that profile doesn’t know what they’re asking for or how rare a wiener it is that they seek. Although, I hope they find a hot dog that satisfies them. Edit: for science, I found a pill bottle that’s 6” around. I would like to report that it won’t fit past my teeth. The kielbasa described above would not make a pleasant meal. Hopefully the owner of the dating profile is a great masticator.


canman4499

Today I learned I have been waiting my whole life to read "they don't know how rare a wiener it is they seek" such bliss


Zelian820

Let him who hath understanding reckon the wiener of the beast, for it is a human wiener.


BamBamAlicious

And it's number, is 6"x6"x6"


MrB2891

A 6x6x6 may in fact take your daughter to the slaughter.


Bilbowtech

No you need to understand, 6”x6”x6” is called a cube


BamBamAlicious

I know what I said. I know what shape it is.


Luigi-Lifts

I love church humor so much


disturbed1117

This is Iron Maiden humor


Luigi-Lifts

Ok, but It can be funny for two reasons. It’s like an ogre. It has layers.


sheriffofnothingtown

He guides others to a treasure he cannot poses


filth_horror_glamor

And they say you won't use geometry after you graduate!


Budget_Queen

She's requiring her suitors be geniuses because she needs help counting change and reading analog clocks. Unfortunately for her, most genius men will laugh at her and not give her the time of day; her conversation skills are lesser than your average bag of bricks and they'll know from her demands.


Real_Vents

Damnnn, you roasted them good


ElinLock

*lesser than your average bag of bricks* 😂 I'm sorry that really made me laugh


Flo_Evans

I could listen to this poster talk about dicks all day.


t0mm3rt

Yes I know, people will say it is fake, but I actually have a penis that is 6" long and a little over 6" in girth. I can tell you definitely not every girl is up to the task. Often receiving head isn't that great, and very exhausting for the girl. But also having regular sex often takes a long time because the girl has to be really relaxed, wet and ready for it. I'm not saying I would like to have a thinner penis, but sometimes it would be more practical.


EntertainmentOk538

Prove it


Straight-Chocolate28

The argument makes sense regardless really


pro_cat_herder

OP is r/confidentlyincorrect on this math


[deleted]

[удалено]


8rok3n

If your dick ain't a hydro flask I don't want it


DrManhattan_DDM

Slingin that Nalgene peen


babbykorina

LMFAOOOO PUHLEASE


KeytarPlatypus

She don’t want this tuna can I’m packin


Mont3y

I believe the phrase you are looking for is "massive chode"


megalodongolus

Technically a chode is fatter than long, so this doesn’t quite qualify


Stasisdk

Girth means circumference and it's about the circumference of a toilet paper tube.


BakedPlatypus

How many guys does she expect to have a beer can dick?


dogsforsuffrage

Wildest I ever saw in person was like a glade or feebreeze can in length and girth


alphamsh

I saw a 9.5" by coke can thick cock in person during a group setting (don't ask...) and I'm pretty sure that most women absolutely would not want that thing in them.


millerjuana

I need to ask Why the fuck were you in a group setting with your cocks out?


alphamsh

3some and 4 some and some really bad fucking decisions in life at that time.


millerjuana

Oh true lol I don't know why but when you said "group setting" I imagined a formal gathering where everyone examines each other's dicks


scrizzo92

Ahhh yes Reginald! What a glorious dick you have presented today.. bravo I say!


Keberro

What a splendid unit of a male genitalia, indeed. Your mother must be a very proud one, good sir.


Glitter_berries

Oh, here come the ladies. All right lads, line up now, line up, don’t shove, Dawkins. Dicks on the table, if you please.


LetPsychological6931

Goddamn it. My lungs still hurt from covid. How could you hurt me like this??


Imsmortboi

Who told you to deepthroat that much


tmadik

I concur! Splendid specimen! Good show, good show!


natashavladimir93

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣


alphamsh

🤣 I tried to keep it from being too outright crude.


ksekas

Yeah duh that’s just mandatory dick inspection


powerlesshero111

I see you were also an alter boy in church


Maracuja_Sagrado

Physical ED class* Please note: the ED stands for Erectile Dysfunction


Busy-Conflict1986

Yeah I definitely pictured a group of drunk college dudes doing comparisons


Kaushik_Kumar03

Who happen to be engineering grads.


Necynius

I like how your brain goes from what is pretty obviously a moresome, to a dick appreciation convention 🤣


pstapper

This guy having foursomes and I haven't had the confidence to ask a girl to hold hands yet. Fuck


PhatboiSlim419

I haven’t had a threesome let alone a foursome. How can I learn this power?


pstapper

If you do, please share. Also if you have advice for a guy whose basically shut himself off from people, I'll take that as well


alphamsh

I suggest going on meetup.com and finding a group based on an interest of yours that you could talk all day about. Go to those groups regularly and just talk while being relaxed. You can even tell yourself you are "acting". You just gotta practice talking to people so a group where everyone is focused on a subject you're comfortable is perfect. I would also hit the gym, learn how to groom and style yourself, and go from there. Slowly you branch out.


PhatboiSlim419

I did the same. Love playing sports so I got back with some high school friends I played sports with. Now we play golf or basketball once a week. It’s great. Whatever hobbies you have just try to remember people you enjoyed them with, if you can’t find them then frequent a place and you’ll find someone soon enough. Too many friends is too much pressure but having a tight circle is ideal for happiness IMO also: friends come and go as the years go by. Don’t get too attached to people, because that’s how you would rather be lonely


CookedCritter

Not the same guy but I really needed to hear those last four lines, thanks mate.


Scrotius_Minimus

Man, coming from a place where I struggled to talk to women and largely closed myself off, then over time working on myself and building my self confidence and image to the point where I was confident enough to talk to any woman - I feel you! The best advice I can offer is to do something that makes you feel fulfilled FIRST. Get yourself in a mindset that you feel confident and happy with yourself. For me, it sounds cliché but it was going to the gym and working out. It won’t happen overnight, but do little things that make you push yourself and try new things and find things you never realized you enjoy. But ultimately find things that makes you feel great about yourself and makes you believe in yourself - use that energy and it will serve you well =] You got this!


PooPooDooDoo

Just hold your hand outright palm up for her to grab it. If she declines or something just keep walking and say “all good” and don’t make a big deal out of it. That being said, you can kind of tell when when the vibe is there. If you both seem a little giddy or nervous, that’s a good sign. It’s also ok to just be friends if the vibe isn’t there. Don’t force it, the more friends you have, the more people you meet, the more people you meet the more girls you meet.


felijahwood

But you said that most women absolutely wouldn’t want that in them… were the women/men in your group the exception?


alphamsh

I think there are a few size queens that will but after some time that lady went with someone else


Hey_Mikey8008

Did anyone take on the king kobra


alphamsh

Of course. You know a lot of women would try it a few times for the novelty.


After-Ad2018

Ask this to any man who has served in the military. I have been surrounded by literally DOZENS of flopping cocks at once. There are no separate showers for recruits in Navy boot camp.


420catloveredm

Do you still know this person? Asking for a friend.


SuicideByStar_

Rofl, thicc trunk good hump


dogsforsuffrage

It made me realize there were levels to the whole dick having stuff. I never felt inadequate until that moment.


LongbowTurncoat

These women are insane. I would be scared if someone whipped something that big out!


rmbeaumont

6x6 is closer to a white claw


Intimidating_furby

Dick so thicc they call me the hubcap


IntoxicatedParabola

Dick so big it wears socks and shoes


LOVERB0Y710

Dick so little it’s a clit


StackedRealms

If you can just wrap a $100 bill around it. It’s about 6” in girth


[deleted]

what about 1 dollar


StackedRealms

Don’t be a pheasant


[deleted]

a bird?


afundementaldarkness

This killed me for some reason. I'm still laughing 😂


woolyearth

Charlie Kelly here, sorry im late your honor. filibuster.


entity_number_481632

How about a quail?


salex100m

This whole thing sounds like a turkey to me


No_Rip_351

It’s definitely fowl


Dragon_Magician

What? are you chicken?


RustyShackelforrd

Did you just call me a jive turkey?!


jdrawr

dont you dare tarnish the name of our favorite submarine youtuber.


lil_red49

Or what about a mallard duck?


GameboiDS

You know I speak Quail


wyntrrs

Boobie ... thats a bird too


LetPsychological6931

So are tits


mrocks301

Someone get this guy a fucking Puppers


Zcaron21

How many times can you wrap it?


StackedRealms

7-8 is pretty good


Zcaron21

Perfect, we are on the same page then!


nickbuttbuttbutt

Different books tho


dogsforsuffrage

Hotdog or hamburger?


StackedRealms

Depends on the buns available


UtterRubbish12

What about tree fiddy


StackedRealms

Is that a new wrapper?


BradburySauce

Isn’t that…circumference? Not Girth? I thought girth was width. Edit: jk just looked it up you’re right.


[deleted]

[удалено]


luckyincode

Now I gotta go find a $100 bill.


AlasOfLife

If you can wrap an A3 paper you good.


Phreeker27

Just once, JUST ONCE! I want to hear a lady she’s looking for. 3” x 6”


senorkose

Can of tuna fish gang rise up


Xandril

“Won’t hit the bottom of a tuna can but I’ll split the sides.”


CurnanBarbarian

Fuck I'm rolling haha


Environmental_Mix611

All I have here is this meat pringles can.


NoHoliday7040

I mean if it’s 6” circumference that’s not a square is it


blinkandmisslife

Looking for my Minecraft body guy


ShaneMemesLLC

*steve from minecraft has entered the chat*


blinkandmisslife

When I ejaculate I scream "Tetris!"


sushi_dumbass

I am always confused on how to measure girth tbh. Is it circumference ~~cir*cum*ference~~ or diameter?


ben_and_the_jets

circumference my man. if you had a 6 inch wide dick you would literally not be able to fit it in a woman lmao


Kretrn

Not with that attitude


sushi_dumbass

Yeah I figured lmao in my defense I only know metric but google says 6" is 15ishcm but now I can't stop picturing a dick thats super short but and 6inches wide. I makes a very funny picture


lpplph

Wrap a string around the thickest part of your dick and measure the end of the string to the point where it laps over itself. That’s your girth


ThePinko

I know not to judge a book by its cover and protecting ppls identities online. But this is the kind of post where I really wish we could see what she looks like


eevanja99

Everytime a girl makes extremely specific demands she’s either a 10 or a 2 I find, but that’s online strictly. It’s a weird trend but that’s only my opinion


YoBoyLeesuss

Usually its a 2 ye


MemeStocksYolo69-420

Ya I was the same, I want to know what she looks like to generalize what type of person she is


Fallinlust

Actually it’s a cylinder, girth does not equal width. She is correct and proves that women find girth is just as important.


Peachmuffin91

If it ain’t as thick as a newborn baby, I don’t want it. 🤏💁‍♀️


psbyjef

Emoji game strong


okuli

If it's baby-thick, make it baby-long too, for consistency


[deleted]

Fucking hell thats hilarious 🤣 take a bow 🙇‍♂️


uhwhooops

And also take this arrow


IcebergSlimFast

And my axe.


Smooth-Ad-2383

Yeah but 6" girth is like top 1% of dicks. She's kinda wiling for that one. That's like only demanding women with E cup titties, you're cutting out like almost everyone because you're being unrealistic,


Gnomer81

E cups are simply DD’s. And since bra sizes are ratios, a petite woman’s DD is way smaller than a much larger woman’s DD. 6” girth is a concrete measurement. Saying you want “DD’s” is like saying you want a 1% dick.


Faeraday

For even more 🤯, a 38A is the exact same size cup as a 32D. It’s all relative, so when someone tells you their cup size without their Victorian measurements, it means nothing.


rambo_chopper

But all men just want TT’s.


CorralHungus

C=2πr


Upandatthem041388

Adjusted Penis Size (or TMI) with the following formula: ((L*D)+(W/G))/(A^2) Length times Diameter plus Weight over Girth divided by Angle of the tip squared


ndessell

=\\ it's important but it's rare to find a lady that can handle that level of ***thickness***


Fallinlust

To be fair, 6” girth is not huge when compared to giving birth or Bad Dragon toys. *edit - to clarify, I am not saying giving birth and extra large toys are normal everyday events for most, I am merely saying 6” girth, while large, is not as huge as some of these possibilities.


EmiNVS

I do not agree with the guy above (Most women have problems handling lenght, not girth). But comparing any vaginal insertion to giving birth is not appropiate, a women's body goes throught several changes to give birth, you can not push in and out of a vagina something the size of a small kid without causing several damage to it, that's the reason why labor takes hours.


uhwhooops

Not with that attitude


fiscalplasticity

Underrated comment


Tellurian_Cyborg

The above is true for most women. However, everyone is different and on the near side of the bell curve you have women with much smaller than average hips and vaginas who cannot give birth vaginally. On the other end of the bell curve you have women with very large hips and vaginas who can, with apparent ease, insert things that are eye-bulgingly huge and comparable, if not bigger, to giving birth. If you have a morbid curiosity, google large vaginal insertions. Needless to say, this search would be very NSFW.


ndessell

yeah be you don't give birth or break out the big toys every few days(hours)


hugeineurope

To be fair, 6" girth is not huge when compared to the result of one of the most painful experiences imaginable or fantastical sex toys that barely resemble male genitalia


Fallinlust

Its all good


ShaneMemesLLC

Listen I realized that after I said it ok


72616262697473

Then we can cross “genius” off the list. You still have 2/4, champ!


ElkPants

You got an audible laugh out of me, Savage.


ShaneMemesLLC

You see, it said nerdy/genius and lemme tell you, I’m an absolute fuckin nerd chief.


Bootychomper23

Fine 2.5 but that still ain’t going to cut it slugger


Salt_Paint8157

Isn’t the straight thing kinda obvious like is she just saying she doesn’t want bi guys


ApatheticHedonist

Or pansexuals, probably Protective of her cookware.


ben_and_the_jets

imagine you come home from work to see someone jizzing on your cast-iron


Kaushik_Kumar03

Ah yes honey I put the butter in the pan.


plt072202

Underrated comment


lipphi

'6x6 is a square' 6" long by 6" girth / 3.14 = 6" by 1.91" thats a rectangle or what nerds call math . . .


xanroeld

girth = circumference. she’s not referring to a dick that’s 6” wide, she means 6” measured all the way around.


Clint_Bolduin

You're right, you only qualify to maybe 3/4 of those. You fail at the genius part.


[deleted]

These kinds of woman would look at a 5x5 and not know the difference.


SrFalse

I also qualify for 3/4 of this. Except I'm gay


FuckinFuckityFucker

Talk about square peg, round hole 😶


KramboSlice

Houston, we have a problem


sunnysophieb

“Or more” on the girth


FlyPenFly

Women are just as trash people as men.


throwsrug

People are as horrible as people.


SuicideByStar_

Lol, OP is a dumb. You think your dick is the shape of a square? Think 3D good sir.


beans0913

I am Bad at geometry, but isn’t that a round Dick ?


humanrightsforu

“A 6 x 6 is called a square it doesn’t exist” lmaooo