This has to be the single funniest thing I’ve had the pleasure of being a part of
By - ShaneMemesLLC
"oddly specific lol"
Must be able to make fire
I was trying to imagine it.... Is that even possible lol
Lol yeah, girth is "around" like a belt, not through like the diameter
4 inches long.
4 inches wide.
Won't hit bottom,
But I'll bust out the side.
Girth (circumference) is around the lake. Diameter is across the lake.
6 around is like, big for a dick but not as big as you'd think
Picks up straight sticks for the fire as well. Dream man!
I LAUGHED SO HARD WHEN I SAW THAT, all she said was “No”
Imagine someone coming up to you irl for a first date, looks at you, says “no,” and walks away 😭
i feel so bad for laughing omg
There are the ones that don't say "no" out loud, get their free dinner and then say it was nice to meet you...
Same thing as the "no" but costs more.
I call those people scammers
You measure the circumference of your Johnson because it’s not a perfect cylinder come on man.
Maybe yours isn’t
This got me :D
Look at Mr Coke Cans over here
My nickname is RC Cola
So it's extra syrupy and tastes flat?
No because it’s almost impossible to find.
What 6" long and 6" wide. Square cock?
They call that The Wrecktangle.
TY for the awards!
if I only had more to give, brilliant answer.
Mine is not a jackhammer, it's an hidraulic press
We must deal wid it, because it could attakk at any tiem
This cracked me up
Yeah! Mines shaped exactly like a can full can of pringles
as opposed to an empty can of pringles?
Well, once you pop, you just can't stop.
Once I pop that is absolutely when I stop.
Mine is shaped like a can of tuna.
Mine is shaped like a cheese wheel
[Look, a wagon wheel!](https://youtu.be/ThnZcNZKnPI)
The above comment was stolen from [this one](http://np.reddit.com/r/Tinder/comments/poxyff/this_has_to_be_the_single_funniest_thing_ive_had/hd19wwj/) elsewhere in this comment section.
It is probably not a coincidence; here is some more evidence against this user:
Plagiarized | Original
-------- | -----------
[Me laughs in an unpatched...](http://np.reddit.com/r/gaming/comments/popz5s/at_least_we_have_bluetooth_now/hd1o7jg/) | [Me laughs in an unpatched...](http://np.reddit.com/r/gaming/comments/popz5s/at_least_we_have_bluetooth_now/hczrg3e/)
[Memory and slow ass hard...](http://np.reddit.com/r/gaming/comments/pourxc/the_eternal_question/hd1o62o/) | [Memory and slow ass hard...](http://np.reddit.com/r/gaming/comments/pourxc/the_eternal_question/hczoisf/)
[This is a drowning baby t...](http://np.reddit.com/r/Damnthatsinteresting/comments/poqxdf/a_baby_turtle_chasing_its_tail_like_a_dog/hd1nwmw/) | [This is a drowning baby t...](http://np.reddit.com/r/Damnthatsinteresting/comments/poqxdf/a_baby_turtle_chasing_its_tail_like_a_dog/hczu8p9/)
[Dunno if it's the cynic i...](http://np.reddit.com/r/LivestreamFail/comments/powonl/esfand_on_nick_after_finding_out_about_the_breakup/hd1nu89/) | [Dunno if it's the cynic i...](http://np.reddit.com/r/LivestreamFail/comments/powonl/esfand_on_nick_after_finding_out_about_the_breakup/hd06h2b/)
[Subway Sandwiches are act...](http://np.reddit.com/r/Tinder/comments/pouzf9/just_saw_this_bio/hd1o1cy/) | [Subway Sandwiches are act...](http://np.reddit.com/r/Tinder/comments/pouzf9/just_saw_this_bio/hd03tuv/)
[From the picture it is qu...](http://np.reddit.com/r/Damnthatsinteresting/comments/posaxe/high_school_student_lebron_james_meeting_michael/hd1ny7j/) | [From the picture it is qu...](http://np.reddit.com/r/Damnthatsinteresting/comments/posaxe/high_school_student_lebron_james_meeting_michael/hcz2z6e/)
beep boop, I'm a bot -|:] It is this bot's opinion that [/u/nbfss67](https://np.reddit.com/u/nbfss67/) should be banned for karma manipulation. Don't feel bad, they are probably a bot too.
Confused? Read the [FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/user/reply-guy-bot/comments/n9fpva/faq/?plagiarist=nbfss67) for info on how I work and why I exist.
If we pretend the sausage in question had a circular cross section, it’s diameter would be 6/pi or about 1.91 inches.
The real salami is going to have a more oblong cross section. Meaning it would be even wider, probably more than 2 inches wide.
If you want my 2¢ and/or my 2 inches, the person who wrote that profile doesn’t know what they’re asking for or how rare a wiener it is that they seek. Although, I hope they find a hot dog that satisfies them.
Edit: for science, I found a pill bottle that’s 6” around. I would like to report that it won’t fit past my teeth. The kielbasa described above would not make a pleasant meal. Hopefully the owner of the dating profile is a great masticator.
Today I learned I have been waiting my whole life to read "they don't know how rare a wiener it is they seek" such bliss
Let him who hath understanding reckon the wiener of the beast, for it is a human wiener.
And it's number, is 6"x6"x6"
A 6x6x6 may in fact take your daughter to the slaughter.
No you need to understand, 6”x6”x6” is called a cube
I know what I said. I know what shape it is.
I love church humor so much
This is Iron Maiden humor
Ok, but It can be funny for two reasons. It’s like an ogre. It has layers.
He guides others to a treasure he cannot poses
And they say you won't use geometry after you graduate!
She's requiring her suitors be geniuses because she needs help counting change and reading analog clocks. Unfortunately for her, most genius men will laugh at her and not give her the time of day; her conversation skills are lesser than your average bag of bricks and they'll know from her demands.
Damnnn, you roasted them good
*lesser than your average bag of bricks* 😂 I'm sorry that really made me laugh
I could listen to this poster talk about dicks all day.
Yes I know, people will say it is fake, but I actually have a penis that is 6" long and a little over 6" in girth. I can tell you definitely not every girl is up to the task. Often receiving head isn't that great, and very exhausting for the girl. But also having regular sex often takes a long time because the girl has to be really relaxed, wet and ready for it. I'm not saying I would like to have a thinner penis, but sometimes it would be more practical.
The argument makes sense regardless really
OP is r/confidentlyincorrect on this math
If your dick ain't a hydro flask I don't want it
Slingin that Nalgene peen
She don’t want this tuna can I’m packin
I believe the phrase you are looking for is "massive chode"
Technically a chode is fatter than long, so this doesn’t quite qualify
Girth means circumference and it's about the circumference of a toilet paper tube.
How many guys does she expect to have a beer can dick?
Wildest I ever saw in person was like a glade or feebreeze can in length and girth
I saw a 9.5" by coke can thick cock in person during a group setting (don't ask...) and I'm pretty sure that most women absolutely would not want that thing in them.
I need to ask
Why the fuck were you in a group setting with your cocks out?
3some and 4 some and some really bad fucking decisions in life at that time.
Oh true lol
I don't know why but when you said "group setting" I imagined a formal gathering where everyone examines each other's dicks
Ahhh yes Reginald! What a glorious dick you have presented today.. bravo I say!
What a splendid unit of a male genitalia, indeed. Your mother must be a very proud one, good sir.
Oh, here come the ladies. All right lads, line up now, line up, don’t shove, Dawkins. Dicks on the table, if you please.
Goddamn it. My lungs still hurt from covid. How could you hurt me like this??
Who told you to deepthroat that much
I concur! Splendid specimen! Good show, good show!
🤣 I tried to keep it from being too outright crude.
Yeah duh that’s just mandatory dick inspection
I see you were also an alter boy in church
Physical ED class*
Please note: the ED stands for Erectile Dysfunction
Yeah I definitely pictured a group of drunk college dudes doing comparisons
Who happen to be engineering grads.
I like how your brain goes from what is pretty obviously a moresome, to a dick appreciation convention 🤣
This guy having foursomes and I haven't had the confidence to ask a girl to hold hands yet. Fuck
I haven’t had a threesome let alone a foursome. How can I learn this power?
If you do, please share. Also if you have advice for a guy whose basically shut himself off from people, I'll take that as well
I suggest going on meetup.com and finding a group based on an interest of yours that you could talk all day about. Go to those groups regularly and just talk while being relaxed. You can even tell yourself you are "acting". You just gotta practice talking to people so a group where everyone is focused on a subject you're comfortable is perfect.
I would also hit the gym, learn how to groom and style yourself, and go from there. Slowly you branch out.
I did the same. Love playing sports so I got back with some high school friends I played sports with. Now we play golf or basketball once a week. It’s great. Whatever hobbies you have just try to remember people you enjoyed them with, if you can’t find them then frequent a place and you’ll find someone soon enough. Too many friends is too much pressure but having a tight circle is ideal for happiness IMO also: friends come and go as the years go by. Don’t get too attached to people, because that’s how you would rather be lonely
Not the same guy but I really needed to hear those last four lines, thanks mate.
Man, coming from a place where I struggled to talk to women and largely closed myself off, then over time working on myself and building my self confidence and image to the point where I was confident enough to talk to any woman - I feel you!
The best advice I can offer is to do something that makes you feel fulfilled FIRST. Get yourself in a mindset that you feel confident and happy with yourself. For me, it sounds cliché but it was going to the gym and working out. It won’t happen overnight, but do little things that make you push yourself and try new things and find things you never realized you enjoy.
But ultimately find things that makes you feel great about yourself and makes you believe in yourself - use that energy and it will serve you well =]
You got this!
Just hold your hand outright palm up for her to grab it. If she declines or something just keep walking and say “all good” and don’t make a big deal out of it.
That being said, you can kind of tell when when the vibe is there. If you both seem a little giddy or nervous, that’s a good sign. It’s also ok to just be friends if the vibe isn’t there. Don’t force it, the more friends you have, the more people you meet, the more people you meet the more girls you meet.
But you said that most women absolutely wouldn’t want that in them… were the women/men in your group the exception?
I think there are a few size queens that will but after some time that lady went with someone else
Did anyone take on the king kobra
Of course. You know a lot of women would try it a few times for the novelty.
Ask this to any man who has served in the military. I have been surrounded by literally DOZENS of flopping cocks at once.
There are no separate showers for recruits in Navy boot camp.
Do you still know this person? Asking for a friend.
Rofl, thicc trunk good hump
It made me realize there were levels to the whole dick having stuff. I never felt inadequate until that moment.
These women are insane. I would be scared if someone whipped something that big out!
6x6 is closer to a white claw
Dick so thicc they call me the hubcap
Dick so big it wears socks and shoes
Dick so little it’s a clit
If you can just wrap a $100 bill around it. It’s about 6” in girth
what about 1 dollar
Don’t be a pheasant
This killed me for some reason. I'm still laughing 😂
Charlie Kelly here, sorry im late your honor. filibuster.
How about a quail?
This whole thing sounds like a turkey to me
It’s definitely fowl
What? are you chicken?
Did you just call me a jive turkey?!
dont you dare tarnish the name of our favorite submarine youtuber.
Or what about a mallard duck?
You know I speak Quail
Boobie ... thats a bird too
So are tits
Someone get this guy a fucking Puppers
How many times can you wrap it?
7-8 is pretty good
Perfect, we are on the same page then!
Different books tho
Hotdog or hamburger?
Depends on the buns available
What about tree fiddy
Is that a new wrapper?
Isn’t that…circumference? Not Girth? I thought girth was width.
Edit: jk just looked it up you’re right.
Now I gotta go find a $100 bill.
If you can wrap an A3 paper you good.
Just once, JUST ONCE! I want to hear a lady she’s looking for. 3” x 6”
Can of tuna fish gang rise up
“Won’t hit the bottom of a tuna can but I’ll split the sides.”
Fuck I'm rolling haha
All I have here is this meat pringles can.
I mean if it’s 6” circumference that’s not a square is it
Looking for my Minecraft body guy
*steve from minecraft has entered the chat*
When I ejaculate I scream "Tetris!"
I am always confused on how to measure girth tbh.
Is it circumference ~~cir*cum*ference~~ or diameter?
circumference my man. if you had a 6 inch wide dick you would literally not be able to fit it in a woman lmao
Not with that attitude
Yeah I figured lmao in my defense I only know metric but google says 6" is 15ishcm but now I can't stop picturing a dick thats super short but and 6inches wide. I makes a very funny picture
Wrap a string around the thickest part of your dick and measure the end of the string to the point where it laps over itself. That’s your girth
I know not to judge a book by its cover and protecting ppls identities online. But this is the kind of post where I really wish we could see what she looks like
Everytime a girl makes extremely specific demands she’s either a 10 or a 2 I find, but that’s online strictly. It’s a weird trend but that’s only my opinion
Usually its a 2 ye
Ya I was the same, I want to know what she looks like to generalize what type of person she is
Actually it’s a cylinder, girth does not equal width. She is correct and proves that women find girth is just as important.
If it ain’t as thick as a newborn baby, I don’t want it. 🤏💁♀️
Emoji game strong
If it's baby-thick, make it baby-long too, for consistency
Fucking hell thats hilarious 🤣 take a bow 🙇♂️
And also take this arrow
And my axe.
Yeah but 6" girth is like top 1% of dicks. She's kinda wiling for that one. That's like only demanding women with E cup titties, you're cutting out like almost everyone because you're being unrealistic,
E cups are simply DD’s.
And since bra sizes are ratios, a petite woman’s DD is way smaller than a much larger woman’s DD.
6” girth is a concrete measurement. Saying you want “DD’s” is like saying you want a 1% dick.
For even more 🤯, a 38A is the exact same size cup as a 32D. It’s all relative, so when someone tells you their cup size without their Victorian measurements, it means nothing.
But all men just want TT’s.
Adjusted Penis Size (or TMI) with the following formula:
Length times Diameter plus Weight over Girth divided by Angle of the tip squared
=\\ it's important but it's rare to find a lady that can handle that level of ***thickness***
To be fair, 6” girth is not huge when compared to giving birth or Bad Dragon toys.
*edit - to clarify, I am not saying giving birth and extra large toys are normal everyday events for most, I am merely saying 6” girth, while large, is not as huge as some of these possibilities.
I do not agree with the guy above (Most women have problems handling lenght, not girth).
But comparing any vaginal insertion to giving birth is not appropiate, a women's body goes throught several changes to give birth, you can not push in and out of a vagina something the size of a small kid without causing several damage to it, that's the reason why labor takes hours.
The above is true for most women. However, everyone is different and on the near side of the bell curve you have women with much smaller than average hips and vaginas who cannot give birth vaginally. On the other end of the bell curve you have women with very large hips and vaginas who can, with apparent ease, insert things that are eye-bulgingly huge and comparable, if not bigger, to giving birth. If you have a morbid curiosity, google large vaginal insertions. Needless to say, this search would be very NSFW.
yeah be you don't give birth or break out the big toys every few days(hours)
To be fair, 6" girth is not huge when compared to the result of one of the most painful experiences imaginable or fantastical sex toys that barely resemble male genitalia
Its all good
Listen I realized that after I said it ok
Then we can cross “genius” off the list. You still have 2/4, champ!
You got an audible laugh out of me, Savage.
You see, it said nerdy/genius and lemme tell you, I’m an absolute fuckin nerd chief.
Fine 2.5 but that still ain’t going to cut it slugger
Isn’t the straight thing kinda obvious like is she just saying she doesn’t want bi guys
Or pansexuals, probably Protective of her cookware.
imagine you come home from work to see someone jizzing on your cast-iron
Ah yes honey I put the butter in the pan.
'6x6 is a square'
6" long by 6" girth / 3.14 = 6" by 1.91"
thats a rectangle or what nerds call math . . .
girth = circumference. she’s not referring to a dick that’s 6” wide, she means 6” measured all the way around.
You're right, you only qualify to maybe 3/4 of those. You fail at the genius part.
These kinds of woman would look at a 5x5 and not know the difference.
I also qualify for 3/4 of this.
Except I'm gay
Talk about square peg, round hole 😶
Houston, we have a problem
“Or more” on the girth
Women are just as trash people as men.
People are as horrible as people.
Lol, OP is a dumb. You think your dick is the shape of a square? Think 3D good sir.
Bad at geometry, but isn’t that a round Dick ?
“A 6 x 6 is called a square it doesn’t exist” lmaooo