*In case this story gets deleted/removed:* **I (32m) asked my wife(30f) if we could open the relationship. She agreed, and I’m feeling upset because although she’s bisexual, she’s only sleeping with men.** 32m and my wife is 30f. After 5 years of marriage I felt like she had given me all she had to offer. Now, please don’t judge me for saying that. She just had a very low sex drive and I have a higher one. I figured opening the relationship would help out marriage and help me get my needs met. She originally said no, but after I explained to her the benefits she said yes after a few days of asking. We seemed both excited at the possibility of a threesome. Now where the problem lies is that my wife is bisexual, and yet the only people she’s been sleeping have been men. When asked about this, she said she only sleeps with people she clicks with, and they just happen to be men. When I told her my feelings about this she said it’s only fair because I’m sleeping with other women. While true, it makes me wonder if she’s truly bisexual. When I asked for her to also sleep with women or I’d want to close the marriage again she rolled her eyes and said no. One of the guys I fear is trying to seriously date her. He brings her flowers and food, pays for her nails and never even acknowledges me when he’s over. I feel like she’s dismissing my feelings and I’m getting frustrated. I want to close our marriage again. How to approach this? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmITheDevil) if you have any questions or concerns.*


I like how her “low sex drive” revs right up when she has a partner who romances her and actually acts like he’s interested in her. Crazy how that works


>After 5 years of marriage I felt like she had given me all she had to offer. Guy doesn't understand relationships beyond getting convenient pussy and a unicorn.




For sure. If I *thought* that about someone I would be so disgusted with *myself* I'd probably think about ending the relationship.


Right? It was cold enough that it's not something I would even be proud of thinking. It's one thing to fall out of love, which happens to the best of them.... but that was just cruel.


Well, at least it sounds like they’re on the same page now. He wants to close the marriage, and it sounds like she wants to bring the marriage to a close, so… consensus.


I had to stop and re-read that line again. "She's given me all she had to offer"? Jesus fucking christ, she married a 13 year old!


Gave him everything she had to offer *him*, sure. But not everything she had to offer. At all.


I wonder when/if he'll ever realize her low sex drive was with him only. "Dear Reddit, am I a lousy lover/husband/partner?"


Maybe it was more like: After five years of marriage she has given up hope that he could satisfy her.


Guess she has "more to offer" when her partner actually shows he cares


I was thinking exactly this! Men like this really tell on themselves!!


How to out yourself as bad in bed in one easy post.


Not just bad in bed but completely unromantic and uncaring overall because flowers, food, listening and nails are so low bar basic things.


Lol, I just casual admit that I suck. There, easy! No need to put great effort into designing my own demise.


You get points for being honest


“Says huge asshole thing” please don’t judge me for that.


Worked for me when I left my abusive ex. He always complained about my low libido and pressured me like crazy, made me feel horrible about it. Then the literal moment we break up it shot up like you wouldn’t believe. Turns out I just needed to lose ~170 lbs of deadbeat!


Exactly it’s almost as if he was the problem all along


I was thinking the same thing!


The only reasons he wanted to open the marriage was because a) he wanted to sleep with other women b) he wanted to goad his wife into participating in threesomes with other women c) he wanted his wife to sleep with other women because the thought turns him on. This whole thing was purely to satisfy his sexual fantasies. His wife sleeping with other men is foiling those plans for him. Tl;dr OOP is a deeply selfish person who only thinks with his pp.


Not to mention she’s being treated nicely by other men. OOP knows he can buy his wife flowers and pay for her to get her nails done, too, right?


Absolutely. My guess is OOP totally took his wife for granted. And he's upset that, gee, when someone **appreciates** her, she responds to it. I'd love to see the fool try to close the marriage again. His wife will dump him like a hot potato.




And it won't be by the guy really, seriously stepping up his game to even be in the same universe of "attentive, attractive lover" that she's found. It will be "Come back down to my level" rather than "I'll rise up to yours." The latter **might** be a possible sales pitch, if backed by hard actions. If she's naive enough to believe it would continue with the marriage closed again.


>My guess is OOP totally took his wife for granted. This jackhole literally wrote: >After 5 years of marriage I felt like she had given me all she had to offer. What does that even mean? All she had to offer? Did she reach an expiration date? Did he ever think maybe he was boring her to tears in bed? >Now, please don’t judge me for saying that. Oh, buddy. Too late for that.


I just hope and pray that the wife didn't unwisely have any children with this man. If she has not, when she throws him to the curb, she never needs to speak to him again. It sounds like he totally gave up on pleasing her as soon as they got married. And now he's surprised that she's basically checked out of the marriage.


Yeah lol now she's seen how other men can treat her, OOP is fucked


Tale as old as time. True as it can be. Barely even spouses, Then somebody grouses, All expectedly.


That was beautiful, u/ButtMcNuggets. 😍


Thanks for the poem, ButtMcNuggets!




Well speaking from experience, the fact he says she has a low sex drive kind of highlights that he's selfish.


Considering how much dating she's doing, I suspect her libido is just fine. The situation is more like he's selfish in bed (you know, one of those guys who just get in, pound away, orgasm then roll over without a thought of her pleasure). After 5+ years of that, she's just not in the mood so much with him anymore.


I guarantee she has a low sex drive because when puts in minimal effort to the relationship


i once read a post where the dude only wanted his gf to sleep with other women cause "Im straight and since I am not attracted to men, its not fair for my gf to sleep with men." so yeah, leap of logics all of them


.. Or, she's getting all the action, and his delusional ass is swinging and missing.


he definitely thinks women arent a serious threat to him. hes biphobic as hell but its really damned if you do damned if you dont for her, she doesnt date women and shes not really bi, but you know if she seriously dated a woman hed probably accuse her of being a lesbian or something


Yeah as a polyamorous lesbian so many dudes underestimate me. Like, I’m not trying to steal your girl, because she’s her own woman, I can’t steal her and also it seems like a quick path to way too much drama. But I’m gonna treat her right and if you can’t keep up you might get left behind. She deserves to be romanced and loved and asked how she wants pleasured. Many men don’t get how far that goes


I don't think he sees women as actual people.. just sex toys. And its okay for his sex toy to play with other sex toys... but for another man to play with HIS toy.. nah.. can't have that! he sees her as a possession, an object. I hope he gets what he really deserves... a divorce, and I hope she finds the happiness she deserves. be it with a man, a woman, or as a single.


>never even acknowledges me when he’s over. Wait, what was he expecting? Golf dates?


I laughed when I read that part 😂 the wife brings her new man over to their place and he doesn’t even acknowledge op, savage I love it.


I bet he walks right through the house and start using OP's bbq


"He just started mowing my lawn! With MY JOHN DEERE!"


I have a feeling that OOP would complain about the guy talking to him.


Mf wants his nails done too 😂


Where are *his* flowers? Lol.


Doesn't even tap him on the ass.


Seriously! Dude, he’s trying to steal your wife and he’s succeeding! Him not saying hi to you is the least of your problems!


No he absolutely wanted a tea party duh 🙄


To be fair, as someone in an open marriage that was open from the moment we started dating and not as an idiotic attempt to not work on our relationship, I would immediately lose interest in someone who wasn't friendly towards my spouse. Than again, I'm married to someone I deeply love so there's the key difference. Lol


>When I asked for her to also sleep with women or I’d want to close the marriage again The quiet part is "and I get to watch".


And hopefully touch!


I will never not laugh at the dudes on Reddit who want to open up their marriage and then want to close it again when their wife also dates. You know in their head they're like "I'm going to have so much sex and she's still going to be waiting for me at home, it's gonna be great!" Then reality hits and they're like "Whoa wait a second why is *she* doing it too?! That is not great!"


Also love hearing about the ones who then realize that sleeping around as a guy isn’t as easy as it may seems. Remember one where the guy was upset because his wife overweight and “let herself go” but was still going on lots of dates whereas he was having no luck.


probably had nothing to do with the fact he's an asshole huh?


Yeah I remember one of his complaints was how she was dressing up and putting on makeup for her dates but she had long stopped doing that for him. I think if you’re wondering why your partner stopped putting in any effort you need to first ask yourself what effort you’re putting in, people forget it’s a two way street.




The words come out of their mouths like the skull doesn't have a giant cavity for a brain in there too


I love this. I will put it in my repertoire and thank you!


I don't wear makeup daily and when I get dressed up my husband compliments me every time. I think it's more that he realizes I put in effort and he appreciates that, but it still feels good. Everyone deserves that. I'm glad you started with "my now ex-husband" because that's exactly the title he deserves.


You wonder if he even took her out on dates and gave her the opportunity to get gussied up. I got comfortable enough with my last partner that I enjoyed the freedom of being able to lounge around in sweats with no make-up etc. She still thought I was hot, of course. But I also took her out. And we dressed cute when we went out on the town! But I also kinda just don't get people who can't deal with a spouse's weight gain. But that's me.


My ex husband sat me down one day and said "Honey, we need to talk about your weight." We'd been together since we were 16; back when my mom starved me so I wouldn't get 'fat.' He'd literally *seen* me pass out from hunger before. When we graduated high school I was 5'4" and weighed 90 lbs. This was about 6 years later and I weighed about 130 lbs. I barely qualified as overweight, I was finally starting to feel good about myself, and this jerk was upset that I wasn't the underweight waif I had been at 16. He was, and had always been, overweight. 5'11" 200 lbs. Both of his parents are overweight. Somehow, I wasn't attractive unless I was malnourished. It was very, very difficult to keep from starving myself again to regain his approval. Such a blow to my self esteem, I'm STILL trying to get over it.


I never get the dudes like that. They're so picky about how they want women to look yet they look like Homer Simpson. The nerve. Cheers to him being an ex . You're beautiful no matter what that idiot says


I think Homer Simpson is part of it, actually. This is what we all grew up with; the fat, blundering husband with the slim, pretty, soft spoken wife. Homer and Marge, Lois and Peter, Fred and Wilma... I can go on. Some people have internalized it more than others.


[Joe Schmoe and his Hot Wife Betty: A Sitcom Trope Investigated](https://www.popoptiq.com/joe-schmoe-and-his-hot-wife-betty-a-sitcom-trope-investigated/)


Umm at 5ft4 and 130lbs you were still far from being overweight


Really. When I married at 5'2" I weighed 130 lbs and had a waistline of 24 in. She's no way near overweight.


Came here to say this


I'm so sorry your ex was such a piece of crap. On the bright side, you lose 200 pounds of fat when you divorced.


Glad he's your ex


To this day he sees no problem with what he said. Numerous people (therapists, family, friends, etc.) have told him how messed up it was. He doesn't care. His reasoning is I had the right to know I was getting too fat for him to be attracted to early on, that way I could 'fix' it before I got 'even bigger.'


I hope he's alone forever lol


I'm so glad you had the willpower to protect yourself from developing an ED. They are no joke. I'm glad you left that pos hypocrite. Good on you! Three Cheers! Hip Hip Huzzah!


It's creepy that some men seem to subconsciously want someone tiny and weak that they can overpower


My lover and I are fucking slammed with chronic pain & it's a nightmare, we can go days without being able to message each other but when we go out WE LOOK FUCKING AMAZING


Plus there's a difference between dressing up for a date and ....not being taken on any. Women don't SLEEP in makeup and heels, you know, if you live together you might discover... sometimes... they even fart


There's so many guys who fall for the myth that super hot, 20 year old models are dying to sleep with average, middle aged men while women over 35 become completely sexless entities that they eagerly open up their marriages, fully expecting to be drowning in dates with hot babes while their doting wives are staying home waiting for them to come home from fucking a steaming hot girl half their age. It's fucking pathetic honestly


Aww I so love that for him :)


They always want to close the marriage again and the wife never does. It brings me such joy!


Or, even better, when the men realize their wife can find many casual sex partners, as well as men to actually love and romance, while they really can't find anyone.


And "why doesn't anybody want to date my overweight saggy ass, while she gets all the action?"


This is how I ended my relationship of 10 years. He suggested it multiple times and I finally took him up on it. It took me less than a week to fuck someone else and it opened my eyes so fucking wide. I broke up with him a few days later.


Happy for you ❤️❤️


Right?! No matter how many times I read basically the exact same story, it still fills me with endless joy.


You would like that they’d be smart enough to learn from the other ones by now but nope 💀


Those other men are low value men (in their terms, I would never) and they are not. Obviously. /s


Every time I see one my brain goes, "You love to see it."


Atp men like him are just delusional bc how many other stories are there where a guy opens his marriage thinking he’s gonna get all the action and it ends up being his wife that pulls?? Like how many more cautionary tales to they need to get the point??😭


Right, like I’m not a super attractive woman but I could probably find a few FWB if I wanted to. I’m married and we are monogamous but I feel that as a woman, it’s pretty easy to get laid, but I also think there’s a considerably higher risk of danger as a woman due to the risk of sexual violence and pregnancy. My husband and I are open to the idea of non-monogamy but right now we feel that we are functioning as a couple and don’t need to add others. Its so bizarre that a man doesn’t realize that his SO will easily get railed without much effort.


Men are typically more likely to be open to sleeping with someone in an open relationship too, while women will often hold some degree of (totally reasonable) scepticism that the relationship even *is* open and will sometimes require proof in the form of talking to the wife/girlfriend.


Lol, not even then. So many wives are basically coerced into open relationships. I'd feel uncomfortable without observing the dynamic a bit. And seeing how dysfunctional it is. I've considered being the side girl in an open marriage before. But one observation of the dynamic, and Nope. I'm out. That lady is not ok with this but faking OK. Dude was super disrespectful towards her. Pretty obvious she was trying to make it work for the kids. Nope nope nope.


>Now, please don’t judge me for saying that. ​ Request denied.


“I’m posting in a open essentially anon forum for advice but PLEASE don’t judge me” like sir… this is Reddit…. Are you new?!


Thus the origin of my username lol


This is one of my biggest peeve- what is that statement actually requesting?


Lol exactly. Seriously though, I think what it means is this: *I know this thing I’m saying sounds bad, but for me the circumstances of this thing are unique and special. Like most humans, I’m sensitive to being judged by other humans, so maybe, if I tell you I am aware this thing I just said sounds bad, you will judge me slightly less harshly, because it’s generally accepted that being a self-aware dick is slightly less bad than being an oblivious dick… so umm… I’m just letting you know that I know it sounds bad but if you’ll just suspend your repulsion for a moment, allow me to deliver the most unique and winning argument you will ever hear for why it’s actually ok that I said that thing that sounded bad. After that I would like validation, please and thank you.* How was that?


Pretty on par it seems


"Coddle my feelings"


I already judge him based in the title alone


His and her idea of a threesome is a little bit different it seems.


The open marriage flavor of FAFO is so fucking funny to me. 99% of them are just: *I’m kind of over my relationship because [insert first shitty, shallow reason here], but I am not willing to end the relationship because [insert second shitty, shallow reason here]. But I’m too much a coward to actually admit how I’m feeling and I’m definitely not willing to make any effort or do anything at all on my end to fix it. So, I guess my only option is to fuck other people. It’s weird that my monogamous partner doesn’t want that, but it’s not like it’s cheating, so how do I convince them to let me fuck other people?* And then, like clockwork, the update is always: *I convinced them to open our relationship, but literally no one else actually wanted to fuck me. But my spouse is meeting great, quality people that actually appreciate and value them and they are having the time of their life!! How unfair!! How do I manipulate them into closing our relationship because I’m still a coward, I’m still not willing to do anything to improve our relationship, and I’m absolutely astounded that things turned out this way!!*


Lmaoo I swear they’re basically all the same story in slightly different fonts 😭


My favorites are the ones in poly groups that go like this: *I am a selfish shallow person who just discovered poly! I want to bang lots of hot chicks and come home to wifey. How do I approach talking to her about this?* Commenters: *That is not at all what poly is, you need to do a lot more reading—insert linkies. You need to know though, just bringing this up could end your relationship.* OP: *Why are you guys so gatekeepey, ugh! I came here for help! Imma talk to her; this is going to be great. I’m so excited!* Update: *My wife left me. I’m so hurt. I don’t understand what happened. She was my everything and I just want her back. 😢*


Yes, great summary


I wonder if the sad five minutes of dry sex he’s getting now and then was really worth imploding his marriage over. He’ll post again in a month that his wife is leaving him for someone who actually gives a shit about her and cry that it was her slutty bisexual nature that caused this, and not his own piss poor choices


But why would he take responsibility for his own actions? That would require actual work on his part.


Ah yes the ol’ “my needs weren’t being met so I goaded my wife into opening things up and she’s getting railed good and loving it but I’m still sad” story. I love this song.


I never get tired of hearing it.


I’m doing jazz hands the whole way through


And ALL of the covers are fire, too. Just keeps turning out bangers.


> it makes me wonder if she’s truly bisexual. the way i rolled my eyes at all of this post but especially this part.


Not like it's way easier to find a straight man than a gay/bi woman to date based on sheer numbers alone or anything....


Gay/bi woman willing to put up with a creep husband as well.


Not to mention in this guy's head he's picturing porn lesbians, not real-life lesbians.


Are you saying he’s not expecting a nice lady in a sensible blazer to bring his wife flowers and discuss what books they’re both reading over a romantic dinner before taking her home to meet her cats?


Well, when you put it that way now I want that nice lady to come visit me. I like books and cats, so I guess I just need to ask my wife if she's on board with an open relationship. That's how this works, right?


And the number of straight dudes who are happy to be a side piece is probably way higher than the number of non-straight women who are open to the same deal.


I've been the unicorn assholes like this were hunting for their porny MFF threesome fantasy before. I'd end the date immediately if I went out with a woman & she told me she was in an open marriage with a straight man. That stinks of brewing trouble. Also, not saying there aren't queer women out there looking for one-night stands or flings, but in my experience that's pretty rare. Especially outside college age.


I was going to comment basically the same. Bi women avoid situations like this like the plague because of the whole unicorn fetish thing. It's something that the bi community actively warns people about. I can't imagine lesbians would be any more open to something like that.


Lesbian here, can confirm that I steer very clear of any dating app profile that has a whiff of this kind of thing going on. I'm not here to titillate your man and I'm not a toy to be used to satisfy your fleeting desire for an orgy.


Lesbians in my experience are wary because they don't want to be someone's passing experiment. Which is totally fair, especially in a case like this. Sucks when you're a single bi woman having it used against you, but I'd be gun shy in this situation, too.


Not to mention the hate amongst gay and bisexual women for unicorn hunters. He's a prime example for all that hate.


Unicorn hunters? Never heard that term before.


Couples looking for a bisexual woman to have a threesome with and a bane of dating for bi women.


Sounds like it would really suck for bi women. To put it mildly. "I am not interested in playing out your porn fantasy!"


First of all, gross. Second, I’d bet all the money in my pockets that he was solely hoping for hot MFF threesomes.


oh for *sure*.


The expectation: porn level hotness The reality: a few hours of awkward fumbling and the inability to make eye contact with your best friend for weeks afterward


Don’t forget the panicked moment when he’s not sure he’ll be able to get it up


*Weeks?* Ha! Amateur. *Years!*


100% this. Or at least some hot lesbian voyeur action.




He's actually a considerate husband, he's just making sure her Bisexuality Licence TM doesn't expire. /s


Ughhhhhhhhhhhh, have pulled my eye rolling muscle


Whenever I see a post about someone saying open relationship when they are in a closed one it never ends well for someone. I will ones where the woman wants it.the guy doesn't. It's in the back of his head so he breaks up with her so she can have the relationship she wants. She tries it, it doesn't work out and then she wants him back ( sometimes it's because she's been cheating and doesn't want czught) Or it's like this I don't think I have ever seen a post on reddit about wanting an open relationship when it's always be closed, turn out good. And I most likely never will


> She originally said no, but after I explained to her the benefits she said yes after a few days of asking. Yeah like somewhere out there is an open relationship that both people wanted from the time of suggestion. But they just never end up with someone telling me the story on reddit at their wit's end!


Well, I mean, most people don't go onto advice subs when their relationships are going well. I've been in the ENM/Poly community for almost 20 years. I know plenty of couples who have successfully opened their relationships. But in every case, it's because they *both* wanted it and they *both* did the *work* necessary to open up in a healthy way *before* just diving headfirst into the pool. But these types of posts... if these people would come into the subs first, asking for help to be successful, they'd get it, they'd be directed right to the information and tools available. But they wouldn't like it and likely wouldn't listen. Then BLAM! Relationship imploded.


Yeah to be blunt there’s going to be very little overlap between people who need/want/think it’s a good idea to turn to reddit for relationship advice and those who are going to successfully manage some form of ethical non monogamy.


It's always so satisfying when someone blinded by their own self interest gets a huge brick wall of "you did it to yourself" in the face.


They never get to the "I didn't think this through" conclusion.


One guy actually is trying in the relationship and it's not him. He brings her flowers, takes care of her and likely will be her husband replacement. Her sex drive wasn't low, he just want doing anything to keep her interested. If you do nothing you receive nothing in return. You have to invest in the person you're with for a life time. Small things add up in both good and bad ways. All you have to do is lots of little things, not grand gestures every four years. Cooking, laundry, cleaning, listening, fixing something they talk about that's an issue, paying for a spa day even if it's just a Pedi it's a big deal. This guy has no one to blame but himself when she leaves.


This joke wanted an “open marriage” so he could sleep around with no repercussions, while his wife faithfully waits for him by the door every evening with his newspaper and slippers in her teeth. For those kinds of people, open relationship/marriage = I cheat on my SO with a twist of them actually knowing about it, rather than hiding it🙄🙄🙄


Actually I was more thinking he wanted his wife to bring women home that he could join in the action with for a threesome. So he wanted to cheat on his wife but have her do all the work.


Yes that’s exactly it and I was going to say if I hadn’t read your comment. This was always about her doing to work to locate women willing to sleep with him under threesome conditions. 100% he would shut the idea of a MFM threesome down hard.


At least I have more respect for people who directly let their spouse know than people who hide it.


It’s so gross how people diminish bisexuality just because they’re in a straight-presenting relationship.


Ah yes, the lovely and totally not biphobic or sexist "one penis policy"


Why would she even need more than one since his is so great!?!?


And let's face it, her sleeping with women is essentially for his fantasy pleasure, because lesbian sex =/= "real sex" in the mind of someone like OOP, but solely for male titillation.


Some transphobia and lesbophobia for good measure of course! "Sex between (cis) women isn't "real" sex and is only for my sexual arousal/gratification."


>When I told her my feelings about this she said it’s only fair because I’m sleeping with other women. So is he going to start banging dudes if she isn't happy about the situation? It's always funny reading these because it never works out the way the guy thinks it will.


I feel like if my husband said "After 5 years of marriage I felt like she had given me all she had to offer." I would take to my bed and cry for 8 years. Am I crazy? That seems so horrible to say about someone you supposedly love. And after only 5 years?!? Holy shit. Good for her for getting out there and getting the attention he wasn't giving her though. F this guy.


I was so entertained by the rest of his bull, I totally missed that bit. Kinda makes me think she started realizing he'd given her all *he* had to offer many, many months prior. That's why she eventually agreed to his silly little plan. But, I know I'd feel like you. What a horrid husband.


Yeah I had to take a breath after reading that. Quite the opening “I am the worlds biggest asshole” salvo.


Look at this guy, thinking bisexual women only want sex with other women and can't fall in love with them.


Storys like that are really satisfying.


“Sleep with women or I close the marriage” …. Uh sounds like he was banking on her to try to please him by appeasing his fetish of woman on woman experiences since she “gave everything she had to offer” YUCK


Tw: biphobia. Copied verbatim from oop's comments: *Lmfao. You're getting what you asked for. She is probably using this open relationship to find her next guy.* *Clearly initially she didn't want an open relationship. She probably still doesn't, but this way she can find her next step.* *Also you don't actually have to have sex with both genders to be bisexual. You can find other women hot, and be sexually attracted with them without having to have sex with them to satisfy your sexuality.* *In all honesty though, the person who asks for the open relationship has no right to complain about what their partner does on it. You should have set your boundary initially, but then she would have said no. Lol* >"While true that I should’ve set the boundary beforehand, I assumed she’d also be with women so I wasn’t upset about the possibility of men having sex with her. And why do I have no right to complain? She’s still my wife and we’re still married." *Sad little man doesn’t put enough work in his marriage to get his wife horny, thinks other women will please him more and he could have a threesome so he pressure to open the relationship. Finds nothing but men willing to put in effort and boost his wife’s sex drive.* *Take the L because you’re not getting your closed marriage back, but look on the bright side. You finally found out what was needed to get your wife into sex, it’s just not with you.* *Do you ever do any of the things you said this other guy does? I can imagine why she clicked with him. You seem like a bit of clown.* >"Well of course I pay for stuff. I have no problem doing that. How am I a clown?"


You got want you wanted OOP


Careful what you wish for OOP


These never get old.


They never look at the fine print, do they?


lol classic case of i wanted to be with many other women while still keep my wife at bay and thought she wouldnt have as much as she has low sex drive but sheesh she gets more hits than i and now im jealous 🙄 he doesnt even care it if she is with other women cos it will make him aroused to see 2 women doing kinky stuff and potentially have him in between but god forbid if his bisexual wife has male partners🙄 and its upsetting him now cos he is the one created this mess by coercing his wife, who had not signed up for an open relationship and guaranteed if she had insisted on her stance he would end up cheating and blaming it on her.


I love every single one of these. I giggle every time.


At this point I would like a sub or collection for these so I can read them and enjoy them all together.


There is! r/openmarriageregret Enjoy your popcorn!


r/openmarriageregret I also love these


There is a sub, r/openmarriageregret


My favorite part of these is that the other spouse almost never says yes to opening the relationship right off the bat but the OOP always begs and coerces them and then proceeds to cry like a baby when the other partner gets more play. Peak comedy.


Remember that post about the parents who opened the relationship because the husband wanted to fuck his secretary, so he persuaded his wife? He was a middle aged over weight nightmare but she had been working on her health, had hobbies, made firends, and generally had a personality. He got pissed when his wife had a whole bunch of hot BFs who she met at the gym and while hiking etc, and he had... his secretary. Then he tried to close the relationship and she said no, so he told their families and everyone turned on her until she pointed out that it was his idea, so he got her old friends from church to stage an intervention for him and shut shame her. She basically laughed in their faces and kicked them out of her house. I can't remember how it ends, but is suspect either divorce with the wife living her best life or that its still open and the husband is miserable. I think the husband's business was actually the wifes property, and maybe the house too because her parents paid for them to provide for their SAHM daughter and the husband had forgotten over the course of the 20+ year marriage. It's like there's a theme when people try to use The Cheaters Loophole or something, but no one learns from their predecessors' mistakes.


I believe you are looking for this: [dad's mad at an open marriage situation he wanted](https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/uowm3r/updated_my_dad_is_furious_that_my_mom_slept_with/)


That was glorious to read.


i'm pretty sure its statistically easier to find hookups that are dudes rather than women. that and many queer women will be wary if someone in a relationship wants to hookup, because it often turns out to be a "unicorn hunter" couple


Oop is sad because it turned out it is actually him who has given her all he could offer, not the other way around, and she was bored by him and pretended to have a low sex drive because he's just that boring. 🤣🤣


If OOP tries to close the marriage again, somehow I'm confident his wife will dump him like a hot potato. Bet her "low sex drive" was because, well, OOP took her for granted. And I wonder which one is finding more people interested in them.


“After 5 years of marriage I felt like she had given me all she had to offer. Now, please don’t judge me for saying that.” Yeah, I’m gonna have to judge you for saying that. Btw, these kinds of stories are never not funny.


Every. Single. Fucking. Time. Man: I want open marriage because I am virile stud-muffin who must shag everything in sight. Wife: I am not happy about this. Man: Silence, we may have threesome, because I have extremely high sex drive but you don't, because I don't bother to find out what you actually enjoy, I just want to get my dick wet. Wife: Ok, we have open marriage. *Gets all the good sex* Man: *has no sex, is offended and shocked others appreciate wife more than him* Wait, I am wanting the sex, you do not deserve the sex. Wife: Then put the effort in. Man: *shocked Pikachu* 😹😹😹


I don't even care if this is fake, these are always a delight to read.


It doesn't sound like he's the sharpest tool in the box, but his wife found a solution.


He’s definitely a tool though


She said no but I kept bugging her until she said yes. Dude, that never works out in your favor. Ever.


I found a similar story like this on [Twitter](https://twitter.com/sixbrownchicks/status/1613162673742696448?s=46&t=gNl-hqzY8zEkt-DpNjUVzg) I’m not sure if it’s the same OP though


Another man who opens the relationship, doesn't get any traction with women, but everyone is interested in his wife so now he is feeling insecure LOL Why wasn't he getting his wife flowers? Maybe that's why she wasn't that interested in having sex with him. This is on reddit's bingo card.


So OOP wanted to be a unicorn hunter (eww), then wanted his partner to not have sex with other men in a One Penis Policy situation (eww), and now his wife says “I’ll fuck who I wanna fuck” and he has regrets (AAAHAHAHAHA)? That about sums it up, and I hope OOP’s partner is seeing that she can do waaaaay better than his silly ass.


I can guarantee if his was wife was exclusively sleeping with women he would be pissed that women were more attracted to her than him or her womens were hotter. If she was going for both men and women he would chastise her for having a higher body count.


A husband desires an open relationship to fulfill his sexual desires but becomes upset when bisexual wife refuses to follow the one penis policy? Color me surprised.


Nah! You just didn’t tank her fuel enough to keep her engine going! She is happy in your new established rules, what are you whining about now?


What he needs to do is stand by the mailbox and wait for those divorce papers, because I have a feeling they will be coming shortly.


"Why does my wife, who i take for granted and make no effort with, have such a low sex drive with me but with men who are nice and appreciate her she's like the energiser fuckbunny on speed? It is simply perplexing!!"


What is it with people like OP and thinking bisexuality is just being gay with extra steps? He's clearly just imagined she'd bring home an endless parade of willing women who'd either have a threesome or let him watch. This is what happens when you think pornhub is realistic


Absolutely LOOVE these men finding out they are not all that!!!! Hey OOP, maybe if you were a better fuck, she would have responded to to your sex life better!!!🤣🤣🤣🤣




Ya fucked around, ya found out. Telling his wife to sleep with women or he’d close the marriage. Good grief. And she only agreed to open the marriage after days of asking (aka begging her for it so long she just gave in to his whining). What a POS


🤣😂🤣😂 don’t you just love karma!!! That seriously backfired on him. He was wanting threesomes just as long as it was of benefit to him. I’m thinking that the wife’s low sex drive is due to the fact that this stud is in fact a dud


LMAOOO omg i hope they don’t have kids so this divorce doesn’t drag on


Poor OOP. All he wanted was to get his dick wet with 2 women at the same time. How dare his wife have better sex with other men, men who probably try to turn her on and get her off, while treating her nice, buying her flowers and for her nails. Wonder when OOP last paid for his wife's nails or got her flowers.


I'm a piece of shit for taking joy in this, but man am I taking joy in this.