T O P
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JR-Snow

In my ex-girlfriends bedroom whilst her parents were in kitchen below us preparing dinner. This was the first time I’d had dinner with her parents. Also during sex I snapped my banjo string and had to sit at the dinner table with paper towels round my knob.


PEEWUN

Ooh, that's a sour note to end the story on...


statiiic

I'm gonna fucking throw up


JR-Snow

That was my reaction too.


A_Guy_in_Orange

The hell were you doing to that poor banjo


Mr_Epimetheus

Some mighty fierce pluckin', that's what.


Pojelly

Like a literal banjo string or is that a reference to something?


IamHenryGale

[Banjo string](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Frenulum_of_prepuce_of_penis) (nsfw)


Pojelly

How the fuck do you snap that during sex? What could possibly snap it other than teeth during a blowjob? I can’t imagine just plain sex would do it… it’s not like a ultra thin condom that always breaks when you start pounding… Edit: more questions


cemilyh

Accidentally did it to an ex of mine a few years ago because of rough sex. It can happen, unfortunate but it does. Also can happen if it slips out and you don’t put it back in properly, quick thrust and youve snapped ya banjo


IamHenryGale

It just sort of happens sometimes and it has the potential to bleed a lot


PharmAttack

Id think it's similar to pulling an Achilles. Dude was probably super hard and it tore much like any muscle. Never knew it could happen until today though and now I have a whole new fear lol


coolpontiac

We didn't know you could play the banjo!


Illusive_Man

I never knew that was possible


VisibleOtter

Afghanistan


Ophis_UK

Winter or summer?


CakeHead-Gaming

Stuff dropping from the sky either way


Weirdooi

Good one


JQuest7575

Did the goat have a name?


[deleted]

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Ziggie520

In the woods at night. We weren’t in the car it was parked across the street. Suddenly we saw headlights driving at us, it was the sheriff! We had to get dressed, run across railroad tracks and across the street! He was yelling at me to run and I was almost crying cause I was stepping on rocks at the railroad tracks. The next day was the first time he bought me flowers. We have been married 35 years. I have gotten flowers so many times I can’t count.


AlexKewl

THat's a hell of a story! I'm so glad you and the Sheriff are happy together! What happened to the guy you were having sex with at the time?


marior012

Lmao 🤣


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nursejackieoface

Nobody saw him again, but there was a hook hanging from the door handle when they looked at the car the next day.


Dark-Elf-Mortimer

>In the woods at night. I can already feel that mosquito itch


give_me_carbonara

Double the climax


TheBananaKing5

Wow must have been true love at first sight, congrats on the 35 years with the ole sheriff!


secsubsc

can confirm, sheriff here.


RealBossoskin

Can confirm, I was the rocks she was stepping on.


grkkgrkk

>I have gotten flowers so many times I can’t count I see...


[deleted]

Wait, pardon me. Who did you end up marrying? The sheriff or the guy you were hooking up with?


PlayDesperate3021

Bathroom of a federal government building. USA


europedank

In the entrance of an Hotel in Nice - France. It was in the middle of the night, but still anyone could have entered. Im also pretty sure there was CCTV.


Acidic_Paradise

Anyone could have entered, but alas, it was you who did the entering… unless *you* were the one who got entered…


kingofsurvivors

Nice


Siogin_Eire

On my exact ovulation date


PamCokeyMonster

Which metod did u use to determine this date? Asking for me


lunalacrima

There’s ovulation strips that help determine if your ovulation has happened. The more precise way is to measure your basal temperature every day and to check your cervix/cervical mucus. When the temperature rises and your cm is very wet/slippery/egg white like, it’s ovulation time. But please inform yourself properly before using it as a contraceptive method. r/famnnfp is great for that :)


Titania42

In the butt, Bob.


Embarrassed-Ad-1639

It’s an old reference sir but it checks out.


Bodatheyoda

In the camper of my then girlfriends super conservative, super religious parents while they were at a campground church service we were camping at that was like 100 ft away


walkinghomeat3am

In my boyfriend's room when he still lived with his parents. That was how I was introduced to his brothers when they came over for dinner. Dinner went well, though. My mother in law is a nurse and at the time she took care of patients with bowel problems so not only was my introduction to the family done in the most horrific teen comedy cliché way, I also got to sit and listen to the whole family talk about poop at dinner. It was a culture shock, to say the least, but I consider it a funny story now. I really like his family. They are very chill people.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Abject_Presentation8

My ex's mom literally walked in on us, in his room. The only thing that saved us was that the room was only illuminated by the TV, and apparently she can barely see without her glasses.


Elpepe1231234343

She KNEW


Buttons840

"Oh, I thought you were just taking a nap" she said later


CadmiumC4

Maybe behind a sign which says "NO DRILLING WITHOUT PERMISSION"


CadmiumC4

Cause there is a natural gas line there


FulingAround

Sheesh, a guy farts ONE TIME during sex...


rehabforcandy

Disneyland. Found out later if we had been caught we’d have to register as sex offenders


kk653

Happy cream pie day


holydiiver

Where exactly? Like a washroom?


Sure-Telephone3130

Not OP but based on my knowledge of Disneyland, I'd guess Pirates of the Caribbean or It's A Small World. These rides are longer dark rides and people think they can get away with doing stuff on them. What people don't know, is they have cameras on every last inch of these rides, that have night vision enabled. The cast members can see what you're doing and have watched tons of people go at it on these rides. Source: I have multiple friends who have worked on Pirates of the Caribbean.


mearbearcate

Imagine getting horny at Disneyland🤨🤨 wtf kinda shit are y’all into


SeveralFools

My girlfriend's room. Sometimes she does that thing when we're about to get freaky where she'll turn off the lights and hide in a corner and pounce on the bed like a cat when I expect it the least. Every single time it scares the shit out of me lmao


a_guy_called_craig

Oh yeah.... That thing


deftaj

That classic


raistliniltsiar

That old chestnut.


SlothfulWhiteMage

Oh right. The thing. The thing we all do. The thing done specifically because it's so universal. The normal thing.


P00PMcBUTTS

You say "that thing" like this is normal lmao


hemingway_exeunt

Are you sure she isn't actually a cat?


SeveralFools

She absolutely *is* a cat. I often say that I don't need a pet because I can just scritch her head and it's like the real thing.


Mean_Parsnip

On the living room floor under a Christmas tree, while my mom was sleeping in the next room.. My partner at the time was allergic to pine trees. So much danger!


Laykane

She knew


GovernmentViolence2U

At a neo nazi party in the middle of bumfuck nowhere. I'm Jewish but that skinhead chick was fine as hell 🤷‍♀️


National_Presence_42

That is wild. I assume she didn’t know?


GovernmentViolence2U

Not at the time lol Long story but I ended up announcing that I'm Jewish to everyone later after they started talking shit about blacks and jews. We were all wasted and I had been playing nice and bonding nicely..Place was super sketchy with bullet holes and junk everywhere. In hindsight it was pretty stupid but they said I was a cool person and stopped talking shit. My friend who took me there had no idea his buddy had fallen into that crowd.


mus3man42

Probably a net positive that you were there in the end…I bet some of them had never met a Jew. No doubt they went on being Neo-nazis, but on the margins, it probably helped a small amount


OnlyFeetDragonBolZ

How did Jew feel after the whole thing?


NoBenefit5977

I bet Jewish you hadnt gone


skaomatic

Pretty much sounds like the script to green room , haha.


WimbleWimble

Nazi sex partner: OMG! Are you a Jew???? /u/GovernmentViolence2U : ish....


JustRyan23

Wow that’s crazy


LopsidedPotential711

If you had said nothing, some skinhead dude(s) would have had your sloppy seconds, dude you missed your chance!


KhaosElement

As a fellow person of Jewish lineage, things got all hot and heavy at a (not neo Nazi) party with a girl I thought was just the hottest ever. Got undressed, she did the turn 'n bend, and...giant fucking swastika on her back. I was in too deep (ba dum tiss) to care at that point, but yeah. Weirdest bang ever.


dishonourableaccount

If anything I'm guessing it was a turnon at that point? I'm black, and back before confederate flags were totally anathema (back in 2010ish when I was graduating high school, it was seen as crass/trashy but not evil) I would totally get turned on if a girl wearing one wanted to fuck me.


KhaosElement

Honestly, it didn't have a whole lot of effect on me. I already wanted that girl real bad. Really all that crossed my mind was "Oh she is going to be MAD." As we left I told her and she didn't say shit. Just stood there as I left. Never heard from her again.


dishonourableaccount

Nice. Literally DM;HS.


CloudedVi3ws

Or as a black guy having sex with a woman and you know the father is racist 😂


mizukata

I guess she took someone saying: fuck those jews quite literally.


FuckTkachuk

Colt 45 and 2 zigzags...


ZealousidealSection0

Baby that’s all we need…


BlueFalconPunch

[Bodycount KKK bitch](https://youtu.be/FIGAZnk5Iwo) You and IceT


RealKenny

I mean, I get it. Happy New Year


lysergicDildo

Fuck the pain away :')


KingGuy420

Inches away from her sleeping father. I literally could've reached and touched him. He was big, angry, and had a black belt. He would've snapped me in half if he woke up. I was definitely on edge the entire time.


jarboxing

I don't think that's how edging works!


mozzer7_7

Hahaha beat me to it! 🤣


dishonourableaccount

How in the fuck? All I can think is a camping trip?


KingGuy420

We were driving somewhere far and stopped for the night and the hotel only had one room with 2 beds. Guess it was more like a foot away.


st0pmakings3ns3

That changes everything of course.


ceesaar00

Damn, you are brave.


Grenyn

Something something, confusing stupidity for bravery. I don't think courage played a role there.


KingGuy420

Definitely not, more like fear canceled out by teenage hormones lol.


araamkwhore

As a doctor at work. I'm aware it makes me unprofessional 🥲 but in my defense my partner wasn't a patient and I didn't really have any work per se. It was around 2am and all patients were stable. It was terribly scary for obvious reasons. I was afraid I'd get caught by patients, the security gaurd or by my own senior resident who was asleep in the room next to mine and to top it all off for some reason it didn't bother me during the act but the window was wide open and while we were at the 5th floor, right across the window, after a few meters was a ramp which also had windows and I was absolutely terrified of the fact that someone may have seen me from there.


BooCatFun

What in the greys anatomy


araamkwhore

On hindsight, it does feel very tv dramaesque lol


lithiun

My partner is a doctor. Greys Anatomy is hella accurate from a social interaction perspective. The amount of juicy fucking drama I get is indescribable. Funny how glow up(typically) nerds who find themselves in positions of authority just fuck around heedless of any repercussions.


loverofreeses

Former ER security guard here. This story doesn't surprise me in the slightest, lol. Something about that ER... the stress gets everybody horny, I swear.


araamkwhore

😂😂 you sound like you probably have alot to share too


Burladden

Abandoned barn in the middle of a cemetery. Surprised a killer in a jumpsuit didn’t pop out at us right away.


jwiidoughBro

Right away? So he took his time?


Burladden

Politely waited for us to finish.


PhysicianTradition

When my hubby and I were dating we had sex in an abandoned factory building


Cal3b_Crawdad

I worked at a mom-and-pop grocery store when i was a teenager. I used to have a girl meet me out back and we would do it on a small set of steps that lead to a door that didn't open(it was blocked by a bunch of boxes that was blocked by a conveyor belt inside of the store). Well one day while we were doing it on the steps, a coworker of mine went to the same steps to smoke a blunt during his break. he saw us and waited til we were done. the 3 of us ended up sharing the blunt before our breaks were over.


[deleted]

Pubic park. I hated it


[deleted]

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Khaldara

> Pubic park. I hated it Word for word a scathing Yelp review of Golden Corral


GovernmentViolence2U

I loved the view 😏


a_guy_called_craig

Strange name for a park, did they never cut the grass?


alpubgtrs234

Public car park as teenagers- the police who pulled up alongside us must have had a giggle…


the-amazing-snail

“Adult bookstore? I thought this was the public library”


Filthy_pilgrim

In a Mormon church. In the chapel room when it was pitch dark. Just eerie. Difficult to tell if the echoing moans were coming from us or ghosts lmfaoo


1980pzx

In a sauna. Not a real good idea to do something so vigorous in that type of environment. I’m surprised I didn’t pass out.


jaydoubleuw

On the roof of my high school while skipping class


EaterOfTheEther

I know this girl who lives next to a cemetery and we’ll long story short she told me she fucked in the cemetery


AIresponsible

ah yes, the good ol' Mary Shelley experience.


Psyco_diver

I was going up with a girl that wanted to be bent over a grave stone and she wanted me ejaculate all over the grave stone and grave. I've seen enough horror movies to know how that would end, hell I don't believe in ghosts or afterlife or any of that but I'm damn sure if I followed through with it I was going to end up first dead in my very own horror movie of my creation


EaterOfTheEther

Props for you for nothing falling thru the pressure and seeing reason, probably would’ve had a skeletons hand reach of and grab your ankle as soon as you came lmao


KarlDeutscheMarx

Don't fuck in a haunted mansion and act all surprised when your baby winds up the reincarnation of Pazuzu


Slevinkellevra710

My gf's parents basement after sneaking out of my house and into her house at midnight on a weekday. We were 16. Both sets of parents were home.


CapG_13

In the bathroom at a gas station


creptik1

That is definitely horrifying


TripleSPlus

My exes parents room


seamlesssky

With?


SPARKY358gaming

The parents


OneObligation412

“Dw sweetie, you're doing great”


Teledildonic

That would explain the break-up.


mlastella

School bathroom. Twice. Got caught cause I had the largest shoes the in grade so girls knew as soon as they saw my feet under the stall doors.


Memesarereal_24

Bro was packing a foot long


cdcggggghyghudfytf

"Either they're with a clown or with mlastella."


Gastonthebeast

My parents house. My husband and I were visiting for Christmas and because of some medical issues, hadn't seen each other for a couple of weeks. We closed the door (no lock) of my old bedroom and we got busy, as married people do. My parents told us that we'll have a family lunch at 1pm. At 12:30, my brother comes knocking on our door telling us that lunch is ready. We hurry up with cleanup and come downstairs to see all 11 of our various family members just waiting for us. Super awkward.


United_Wolf_9215

On a roof of a six story building while at work. Got caught by a resident who called security. Cost me my job, totally worth it.


thrown-all-the-way

Underground tunnel of an old train line


kaylaxxc

in a field at night. someone decided to go mudding and almost ran us over


Mirrorflute88

You know those old barns in the Midwest that look structurally unsound and/or are actively caving in?


mseopswife

In an abandoned wwii bunker


jolie-renee

SF headlands?


Shitstompd

Mannn a cemetery once cos we were into spooky shit. So inappropriate. Also. Sachs bridge in Gettysburg cos it’s haunted.


Abject_Presentation8

I live 30 minutes from Gettysburg, so I see tons of pictures from locals who visited Sachs, hoping they caught something paranormal. I'm wheezing just thinking about someone accidentally snapping a photo of your tryst, and being like "I think I caught 2 ghosts doing it" 😂


Shitstompd

Omg LMFAO!!!!!! I wish we wore two ghost costumes and did it lololol oh dear god. Yes I still live so damn close to Gettysburg, never go there and not think about it. One time I was like shit what if I pissed the ghosts off lolol


Global_Cow8582

The back seat while her parents were driving.


sugar404daddy

Hate to break it to you, but if they were both in the driver's seat then you weren't the only ones getting down on it.


ziiguy92

At that point, parents are just too afraid to ask/say something


rekonzuken

in school


seamlesssky

It's one of the best and scariest.


SidStaysLucid

Where's the best place in school?


boomb0x

Darkroom in the photography lab. Dark, private, takes a minute to open the revolving dark door...and you can process your photos immediately afterwards.


writeidiaz

The bathroom stall used to be perfect but now there are cameras in schools so you likely wouldn't get away with sneaking a girl in there. Gotta get creative. Find somewhere private. Usually the gym area or drama rooms have cool little private areas you can find.


Unknown0110101

Unless you’re straight, it’s a good place to fuck


Badloss

Music practice rooms are literally small soundproof booths


frank_mauser

There is a punk song from my country about having sex in school during a bomb treath


QQEvenMore

In a old abandoned school in Poland. As an exchange student I had the privilege to visit Poland. My host family was super friendly but couldn’t speak English. The daughter had to be their translator and so on… We came back from music festival and all of her friends called it a day and so did we. On the way home she told me about that abandoned school near the city and without me knowing she led me to it. We went into the building and it was super spooky. Swastika’s on the wall, old furniture in the hallway and rather weird windy noises. She said that these “scary” places makes her feel rather calm and somewhat horny… I felt super uncomfortable but hard to resist.


MousseRemarkable

My mind


SaiyanGodKing

Inside an unlocked police car in their lot behind headquarters. It was midnight and dark but risky because the parking lot was lit.


The-Silent-Cicada

In the woods at night


Psycompulsion

A couple years ago my ex and I tried having late night sex on top of the car in a private forest township, and were interrupted by an old man on a Vespa trying to get home. From the moment i heard a motor approaching down the dark forest road, the race to hike up my panties and jump inside the car pretending to have a conversation began, and it was the scariest thing ever. That was the last time i tried anything funny in public


sugar404daddy

And after you finish and your partner says "Don't be such a chicken. I'm the one that has to walk back alone."


Grenyn

Man, I'm tired, that took me like 10 seconds before I got it.


PromptGal

Gary, Indiana. Getting fucked in an apocalyptic wasteland was... memorable.


velvetpawz

First time I've seen a mention of Gary, Indiana, outside of Cards Against Humanity.


Dwalloak

On top of a mountain at 12k Feet. Banged her out missionary while the back of her neck was exposed to sheer cliff drop.


araamkwhore

This can't be fr. How'd you even have a hard on. I'd shit my pants just looking at the drop from there.


P00PMcBUTTS

There are no drops that are 12k feet, at least not above water, dunno about those deep ocean trenches. What he is saying is he was on top of a mountain that had 12k foot elevation, and there was a cliff on the mountain that they were at. Cliff could have been a measly 20 feet, or hundreds of feet, but it wasn't 12k don't worry


eererer

Then you pushed her off to rid of the evidence


Silly-Perception8689

Idaho


Anglegenderfluid2003

I live in idaho


Silly-Perception8689

Scary isn't it


Erhoov12

In the front seat of my truck in the middle of a grocery store parking lot in the middle of the day


ZentheOgre

Not me a friend. He had sex in his girlfriends bedroom. With her brother!


InitiativeHour5536

Was it the boyfriend and the brother or all three?


ZentheOgre

He was closeted and dated the girl so he had an excuse to hang around her younger brother(just a year). So he showed up while his gf was running late and told him they would be a few hours late. So the friend and the brother went to her room since the brother shared his room. They closed the door. A bit later the father hears noises. Runs to her room kicks the door open. "Helen I told you to keep the door open when...." He sees his son being the sub of the relationship. "Hey dad"


InitiativeHour5536

Holy shit I was expecting that much detail but I kinda love that


ziiguy92

Pretty shitty thing to do regardless of orientation


Gunn_Show

Church basement during a Christmas party. Wasn’t so much scared of the basement, it was well lit, but people were moving past the door and I was just waiting for one to open the door


Benderthegr8est

The holy ghost was looking out for you


stalecrabcakes

NYC community garden


[deleted]

In a brothel In Austria…


Humble_Drama_6891

Under a bridge in a park and in the back seat of a car in a crowded parking lot


Floridamanjr0

Principlals private bathroom last year. Im an office aid and they told me to clean his bathroom and it was already clean. I texted my gf to come by. She snuck in. We went at it. But then right as we walked out we saw the principal walk in the office and go into the bathroom.


PalpitationSame3984

Laundromat Southside chicago


RespectableRemark

In the shower while visiting family members


Sleepdprived

The bathroom in a police station with my crazy ex, the color photo dark room in the community College same ex, a public path in the woods behind a school, same ex, behind a bush while another couple had sex on the opposite side.... same ex


Massiv_v

Iraq … in a conex or a huge metal container … as soon as we get into the bizzznass the sirens ring for incoming fire … we get mortar rounds but we kept on going … you could say it was a happy ending


lefty0402

In prison


CakeHead-Gaming

Do we even want to know?


kk653

I want to know 🙋


codefyre

I thought I was going to be unique with my cemetery story, but it looks like there are quite a few of us. I was 17 and on a double date with a friend and a couple of goth girls we both knew. One of the girls asked if we wanted to get stoned in the cemetery. An hour later, we're going at it on a grave slab in the middle of a sea of headstones with Sisters of Mercy wafting out of my walkman, while my friend debated whether Christianity was an offshoot of ancient Sumerian paganism with his date a few feet away. It was a weird night, but I kind of miss being that young and brave.


FoundationUpset1082

Y’all have sex?


Emergency87

At my ultra-religious uncle's wedding, in the dungeon-like basement of this creepy nunnery where the reception was held. Good times!


MrB426

In a bunker in Afghanistan with one of the female cooks. I tore that shit up hoping the people smoking near by wouldn't hear me clapping those cheeks and hoping taliban wouldn't mortar our base before I can finish. She then finished me off with some head and proceeded to swallow. She was an amazing girl... What a great deployment. I was infantry and had an amazing, exciting deployment. Filled with lots of fun, danger and some sorrow and to end it on month 9 with clapping some cheeks...amazing


awkwardarchaeopteryx

A date's vehicle, parked in an empty lot. In the back of my head, I kept thinking some cop would come driving by.


Lazy-Win-3342

In a car at a public park in the middle of the day. it wasn’t scary like in the halloween spook sense but more in the holy fuck if we get caught we’re going to jail type of scary. Man what a rush


inquisition118

On a low building’s roof, surrounded by other, taller buildings with large windows. Still not sure if we were seen.


Foolyz

In a cave. Not the kind where a guide walk you through dimly lit rooms with railways and "DO NOT TOUCH" signs. The kind where you have to crawl through a small hole just above the ground, and then it's headlamps once you're inside. The act was scary, and almost felt primal.


Abnegazher

The altar of an abandoned church? I mean, it was empty, no one else was using it and she was REALLY WANTING IT, so I just complied... Creepy as fuck, but I was too horny to care at the moment tho...


Jegma72

A married woman’s house.


OnlyFeetDragonBolZ

Did you know at the time?