By - Izanagi_Iganazi
Interesting. How was your mood going into it? Any loneliness? Cannabis use previously vs this time? Tired, in need of sleep?
I wouldn’t look too into it.
I’m not particularly worried about it or anything, it was just kind of uncomfortable. I’ve been dealing with depression for a bit, but it’s never affected a trip like this.
I can understand the relationship between depression and numbness. Sufficient history here. Just recently completed a course of EMDR for PTSD, yada yada. Been off my meds for a few months and have more energy and more range of emotions.
Would you say meds helped you at all? I’ve been considering seeing a doctor lately because I’m not sure if it’s something I can fix on my own.
Using meds for me is a huge subject! I think it got me through, but may have been better served to have gone through my one on one treatment sooner. Still, it’s difficult to think of “all the time” I wasted over the years feeling poorly, so I suppose it was all good things in all good time.
I still have a low level anxiety (which I could devote more time to via meditation) and still demonstrate impatience being off the meds, but the rewards of being off them are tangible. Now I’m less flat in that I have a wider range of joyful feelings without being medicated. Simple pleasures such as listening to music and riding my mountain bike are more genuine in a way.
Did one trip since being off meds and felt honest joy and gratitude for the first time in years. I’m still trying to work from that space by connecting with the experience.
PS: It took several sessions to find a good match for counseling. Definitely worth it. Hard work, but worth it.