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TJ_McWeaksauce

The real goblin king was in his pants.


CallsYouARacist

I thought it was the friends we scared along the way.


Quinn8267

That was the kings specter.


[deleted]

Seven pairs is 14 socks which seems crazy


PlanetaryInferno

14 socks down his pants does seem crazy. Don’t think Davis meant it literally though. > “He was very, very down to earth on the set, by the way,” Davis said. “Wanted to go by Dave, despite this huge wig and seven pairs of socks down his tights.”


EXTRAsharpcheddar

could have even been a joke. Bowie was probably sockless


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EffortlessCool

Could've been Warwick's ankle socks


Whatwillwebe

wool knee-socks


imregrettingthis

still crazy.


Nobody_Speshal

Warwick might also be exaggerating a bit.


BusterVGiner

Toddler socks


[deleted]

This just got weird.


TheMcNabbs

For his toddler leg between his adult legs, yes.


trans_pands

Like a baby arm holding an apple


AlienAntiChrist

I refuse to believe that isn’t 100% Bowie glory in his pants.


TammyTermite

Socks don't have the ability to "dance magic dance".


jim45804

You remind me of the bulge


newt_girl

What bulge?


kiwilasss

The bulge with the POWER


CavityCentral

What power?


FrogCroak

The power of voodoo!


IMakeShine

Who do?


dumbbutterfly

You do.


GreenLanturn

You do what?


LeevItThere

Do what?


lazylathe

We do


BatmanDK316

Power of voodoo


NECoyote

The bulge with the power.


Brinyat

I'll be humming that all night now, thanks!


mattdangerously

To be fair, he didn't say he *needed* the socks.


coelogyne_pandurata

The socks were to round out the shape. Bowie had a legendary c***


jellofiend84

It is, the headline is total clickbait. In the actual quote it is clear Warwick was joking.


ILikeMyGrassBlue

So how many socks did he use in this photo? https://external-preview.redd.it/_lACyQ7bmWbw93UAOkizx1yAwnQIR40cbjJu9atehY8.jpg?auto=webp&s=175afbf5d0dce39b40185db8506efdcc7983d13d Edit: so happy to see Bowie’s magnum dong getting recognition Edit two: Highjacking this to recommend Bowie’s final album, *Blackstar*. Incredible album that was influenced by Death Grips and Kendrick Lamar. Give it a listen.


WestDry6268

That appears to be a six pair day


Ko8iWanKeno8i

i'm not saying he don't gotta huge dick but he's gotta have like 30% chub in this photo


MothsConrad

Were I standing next to her then I would be at at least half mast.


Active-Ad3977

I don’t know, I thought it was pretty noteworthy when it was flopping around unclad in The Man Who Fell To Earth


Starchasm

LITERALLY the photo I was thinking of when I said "bullshit" to this article.


milelona

Me too!!


Drabonn888

“He was very, very down to earth on the set, by the way,” Davis said. “Wanted to go by Dave, despite this huge wig and seven pairs of socks down his tights.” I honestly think Warwick was commenting on the size of his wang here. Basically saying it looked like there was seven pair of socks.


ILikeMyGrassBlue

It was so unbelievably large, they assumed it *had to* have been fake


trans_pands

That’s like how Willem Dafoe’s dick is so big that the crew were confused by it when filming nude scenes for *Antichrist* so he had to use a smaller prosthetic penis that looked more “normal”


kimchimagic

I can’t stop looking!


ILikeMyGrassBlue

You’re not supposed to stop


GabaPrison

That’s what I kept thinking. What is it about this photo?


Purple-Ad-3492

the patriotism


crtjer

Some rather soft evidence you presented, I imagine hard evidence would be much stiffer to refute?


ILikeMyGrassBlue

I’m open to more rock-hard evidence if you have any


--h8isgr8--

Where’s those two girls with all the musicians dongs in plaster? Bet they could answer this mystery for us.


Tilthead

Well, that's a hard one to beat


OG_Gamer01

The only possible answer... Enough. ![gif](emote|free_emotes_pack|sunglasses)


WontArnett

Damn, that woman is beautiful!


Kidpidge

His wife, Iman


WontArnett

DAMN SON.


calrebsofgix2

Amazing what being a wealthy, intelligent, kind, interesting, handsome, famous voice of a generation with a magnum dong can get you


WontArnett

It doesn’t take all that— just being rich will do it.


BobHasBitchTitz

What woman?


eDisrturbseize

I was late to Blackstar, perhaps even held off a bit, but that is a great farewell album for fans


ILikeMyGrassBlue

I always liked Bowie, but that was the first new album I got the chance to enjoy the hype for. Reading about him being so inspired by modern artists and loving the few singles + weird videos, I was so excited. Then it came out and I fucking loved it. I listened to it on repeat for two days, and then he died. I was devastated, but the album suddenly made so much more sense. Truly a wonderful way to say goodbye via music, only rivaled by maybe Leonard Cohen. It’s one of the most incredible musical experiences I’ve had—reveling in the hype, loving the record as it was released, and then having the entire thing recontextualized by his death two days later. That record will always hold a special place in my heart, and it’s probably my favorite Bowie album.


trans_pands

If I’m remembering correctly, Bowie knowing his cancer was terminal and would take him soon was the driving creative force and the entire emotional core of Blackstar


cicadawing

His junk is in full view in unrated version of Man Who Fell to Earth and he's not overly endowed by any stretch.


VironicHero

In Bowie’s own words… “well hung with Snow White tan.” Edit: thanks to u/CaballoenPelo for fixing my auto correct. It previously said “Snow White ram.”


CaballoenPelo

Snow White tan


brickmaj

“God given ass”


WhiteAndNerdy85

lol stuffing speedos is very common. Well, used to be. Not sure anymore. I'm American and not many guys wear them.


oddentity

That's actually the fender for the boat he's on. He slings it over the side when docking. That might be a euphemism.


ChesterCopperpotHou

Bout 14


gbizzle10

I loved this movie when I was a kid. Watched it with my wife, who had never seen it. She said it was the worst movie she’s ever seen.


CavityCentral

Divorce her


Cute_Emergency_2712

Agreed. Never knew a girl who didn’t love that movie and Bowie in it. She must be three goblins inside a trenchcoat. Run for the hills!!!


iamaravis

I am a woman and first saw that movie as an adult. Terrible. Also, for the record, Bowie does absolutely nothing for me. Definitely not my type.


Cute_Emergency_2712

Yeah, you don’t fool me, you tricky goblins!!! Go away!!! Just kidding. Everyone is entitled their opinion and tastes. More Goblin King for the rest of us, I guess! Anyway, I first watched it when I was a preteen. David Bowie cosplaying as Tina Turner was my sexual awakening, I think. That’s perhaps why I ended the way I am. No regrets!


Spring-Both

Same I watched it as a dude for the first time as an adult and was bored to tears


Plane_Neck_190

I’d divorce one who liked it


cannonfunk

I'm not sure how I missed it in the 80's, but I saw it for the first time only fairly recently too. It's nowhere near the worst movie I've ever seen, but... it wasn't *good* either.


Cute_Emergency_2712

Yeah, I guess we loss a lot by not watching this movie in its right age. I mean, a lot of it translates now as forced and corny. Special effects have grown much better, musicals are rare nowadays, and honestly 80’s aesthetics are totally over the top with too much glitter on it. But on its defense, there’s Bowie in it absolutely killing as Goblin King, and it’s ok if you don’t like him, but I love. And more importantly, there’s a pretty rare thing in the movies from this age, a badass self rescuing heroine!!! Jennifer Connelly was beautiful and perfect in her first big acting role, and we had some great messages from the movie. Like life isn’t always fair, and that to grow up we need to stop being ruled by our dreams but instead use them to help us getting forward.


Imaginary_Barber1673

Nah don’t water it down for these lying little goblins you said it right the first time.


UX-Edu

We don’t need help from a peck, Mr. Davis. That was all Bowie dong and I refuse to believe otherwise.


cope525

Nice Willow reference.


KosoBau

You never ever give a baby blackroot


vyrtgo

Well my mother raised me on blackroot. It's good for you. It put's hair on your chest.


Goldeneel77

Are you trying to get an acorn pointed at you?


wheres_jaykwellin_at

I will never, ever forget being four years old, seeing that cod piece, following it with my eyes as he danced, mesmerized, and asking myself, "what is *that*?!"


Ghoulius-Caesar

That there lil buddy is a sock-eyed cod hog


BovineJoniHimself69

Reminds me of this classic[ key and peele sketch](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ltUpdD02tlE)


wheres_jaykwellin_at

Refreshing to see a Key and Peele reference that isn't about my username


BovineJoniHimself69

That would be chicanerous, and deplorable.


cristarain

Churlish. and insubordinate


captainpicard6912

​ https://i.redd.it/zzjo7jpvu72a1.gif


megladont

Going to use this to demonstrate quantum entanglement. Thank you.


Specialist_Peach4294

From that viewpoint, Warwick Davis would most definitely know.


LuckyMe-Lucky-Mud

Nonsense. That bulge is nowhere NEAR 7 pairs of socks. Also, that was a professionally produced movie. That was a proper codpiece if anything.


SiriusBaaz

If it wasn’t just Bowie au naturál then it was certainly a professionally made codpiece and considering every other picture I’ve ever seen of Bowie I’m pretty sure he’s just built that way


LuckyMe-Lucky-Mud

I'm 100% going to assume that's how he's built. No amount of proof will ever change my mind.


celticeejit

Might be 7 pairs of Warwick Davis’ socks So about 2 regular socks


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phunkydroid

That doesn't sound like he meant it to be taken literally.


zebrahdh

HEADLINE: “Phunkydroid refutes Warwick Davis’s David Bowie Labyrinth claims in seething Reddit comment.”


Mr_Turnipseed

A couple hours later... Warwick Davis SLAMS Phunkydroid over refuted comment, sources close to actor claim.


Wise_Pomegranate_571

Boom. You guys have the professional aptitude of tabloid writers. You're hired.


Drewbeede

Let me know as soon as I can link an article to Reddit. If it's written, it's truth.


Dada2fish

Yeah, even how he says huge wig. A bit of an exaggeration.


Ill_Ad2122

2022 folks. Reminds me of running past articles recently that are like 'eminem wrote rap god in 6 minutes.' 'rap God by Eminem was entirely freestyle'. Both statements come from an interview he gave where he was *clearly* taking the piss.


NaRa0

“How’s it going Dave?” Bowie: “Another day another dollar, hold on, gonna go sing about a magic baby..”


ihopethisworksfornow

“Haha, yeah, I’ve been a lot of characters over the years as part of my art but those are just personas. Call me Dave. By the way, did you know that Jimmy Paige once gave me fingernail clippings and a jar of his piss to assuage my paranoia that people were dark wizards out to get me, because I could use his piss to reverse the spell if he ever tried to curse me? Well, I’ve gotta go get ready for the next scene. See ya later!”


huggyscolex

I’ve seen the costume in person at MOPOP. It’s definitely a codpiece


NonSupportiveCup

I believe it. Just like I believe that Bowie thought the real baby didn't sound enough like a real baby. He insisted on re-recorded all the baby noises for Magic Dance. I'm not saying the "Lance of Love" wasn't real. I'm just saying I believe he would stuff that shit to make Jareth even more his vision. He's the type who would do that. Wonderful, glorious fellow.


DootBopper

Wonderful, glorious fellow when he was stuffing his crotch with socks instead of stuffing underage girls with his crotch.


cumbrain225

Based


[deleted]

[Fun fact: Gates McFadden—Dr. Beverly Crusher in Star Trek: TNG—was the choreographer and movement coach in that film.](https://youtu.be/TdiTg-Yg-FU)


Kma_all_day

That is a fun fact


_kalron_

Well shit...so much for my Band Name..."***David Bowie's Junk***"


Fink665

Use a tee shirt cannon to shoot socks!


Mysterious_Glass_692

Just make sure you don't kill Maude again


TheBatmanIRL

I only came here for Magic Dance.


Accurate_Figure_2474

I’m pretty sure his tights kicked off my sexual awakening


hopelesslyromantic4u

Mine as well.


judgyjudgersen

You remind me of the babe


gbizzle10

What babe?


MPJRED

The babe with the power


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digirabbit

The power of voodoo


elizabethptp

Who do?


TheBatmanIRL

You do.


CavityCentral

Do what?


ArseOfTheCovenant

Remind me of the babe!


Nexrosus

I saw my baby


SugaryShrimp

Who do?


LeevItThere

Um- ok… so I wanna say, “That sounds like a joke that Warwick Davis would 100% make.” But equally… I wanna say “That sounds like something that David Bowie would 100% do.”


garyzxcv

Socks for Barbie dolls!?!?!?!


fd1Jeff

He did a few nude scenes in the movie the Man who Fell to Earth. Different edits of the movie show different things. He looked average at best.


MrCheeseman426

Now I need to watch it!


largececelia

Seven is a little aggressive. He must have been working under the assumption that everyone else on set had a porn star sized mega dong. This could be true, of course, I don't think we have measurements for every other actor on that movie.


alllie

Bowie had the reputation of being well endowed. A reputation supported by his ex-wife and some groupies. [Debbie Harry: David Bowie showed me his "notorious" penis after cocaine incident](https://www.loudersound.com/news/debbie-harry-david-bowie-showed-me-his-notorious-penis-after-cocaine-incident)


Schnuckiputzen

"...well hung and snow white tan".


DrCunningLinguistPhD

A kid I knew in the Naughties had a *really* hot dad who was a former model. So one day, his dad was telling all of us about his time as a catalog model. We were joking about him “enhancing” his assets with socks and he surprised us all when he said that the most successful guys would remove the crusts off slices of wonder bread, and wrap the slices around their junk when they were modeling underwear and other bottoms, but he didn’t need to…. I’ve thought about that a lot over the last 20 years. > That being said, I refuse to believe that it’s not aaaall Bowie in those tights. Even if it’s not physically real, it’s spiritually real and that’s all I need. > Anyway, Warwick Davis is totally a prankster, so, he’s probably just teasing us.


kennyj2011

Do you like Goblins…. Gobblin’ deez nuts


DontLookAtMe89

My life is a lie.


metal_stars

"Warwick Davis tells joke"


themoderatebandicoot

7 pairs of Warwicks socks?


ThePowerOfPoop

He’s just jealous that Bowie’s package is bigger than him.


[deleted]

Davis was originally brought on as Bowie’s dick’s stunt double, but was reassigned when he couldn’t fill the codpiece.


A_KY_gardener

What a fucking stud. Bowie didn’t stuff lol.


harrystylesstylist

Oh, my bowie buldge


awkwardnarwhalicorn

And we all noticed.


Princess-NoFace

I mean you can see his actual dick at the end of the 1976 movie “The Man Who Fell To Earth” for anyone that is curious… although just as a heads up to anyone wanting to watch the movie, it’s definitely a bit odd…


timisher

The dick or the movie?


wileypsinclair

They were probably there to distract us so we wouldn't notice his monsterous cock.


DongTeuLong

Is anyone mad about that!?..imagine the level of detail those tights would have revealed


cerebralpaulc

In my head cannon…that was all Bowie, for the culture.


Gummy_yumyum

He would certainly have the best view


wyvwyv

I never realized Warwick Davis was in Labyrinth.


RPL79

I think if he had 7 pair of socks in there he would look like his penis was a basketball


SailorBowie

I know that in Labyrinth Bowie and the costume designer did play around with his look a bit, making his bulge larger and smaller lol but if you want to put your minds to rest go watch the restored version of The Man Who Fell To Earth from 1976, there is a sex scene between Bowie and Candy Clark where he is full frontal naked. It’s shot with in a quick cut fashion but you can see him in all his glory there. It’s a pretty fun scene actually they seem to gave been having a lot of fun. Now in this restored version you will also have see Rip Torn full frontal naked in different sex scenes with young women to get to the good stuff with Bowie and Clark. It is a really good film, a slow burn that’s more about visuals but Bowie is beautiful in it.


arothmanmusic

Hard to tell whether this is literal or not… I suspect Davis is just hyperbolizing.


Ok_Fox_1770

The goblin king was all gym sock!? But you could see bird over bag at some moments… I don’t know what to believe anymore. Can’t post Mortem defame the bulge like that. I heard Jim crafted an animatronic version with eyes, sounded like the terrifying yipyip aliens


Amida0616

Why you gotta call him out like that


Nexrosus

I THOUGHT IT WAS REAL. There goes my childhood..


the1eyeddog

These unattainable body standards for men have to stop


davefive

Facts that I didn’t need to know


d_Composer

Don’t get all upset: 7 is just the SAG minimum for how many pairs of of socks an actor needs to stuff down his pants when filming a children’s movie


Routine-Light-4530

Lol guy stuffs his pants to accentuate his genitals in a kids movie Reddit: ***omg he’s so cool***


risekevin

He was always quite insecure


BrianOconneR34

Director: Bowie, we wanna see a bulge not a enlarged thigh goiter.


BrianOconneR34

Willow doubt used more than three. /s


PiratusInteruptus

You remind me of the babe


chockobumlick

Tube socks?


TuJuMoving

That was an average bulge.


FilmLocationManager

You’d be surprised over the length male actors are willing to go… there is a lot more than socks going into some of those pants… Source: worked on multiple features and tv-shows.


wes00mertes

The linked site is cancer on mobile. Couldn’t even read the article.


TheILLestAlien

It’s not a very well known fact but David Bowie’s penis got paid more than David Bowie to be in Labyrinth


Dragonfly452

He goes full frontal in Man Who Fell To Earth


Kma_all_day

Mhmm. If you’ve seen that you know that bulge wasn’t all him.


Dragonfly452

True. I believe it was a codpiece, like they use in Ballet


whyreadthis2035

I could have lived my whole life not knowing that. Loved the movie. It terrified my kids and I never noticed that…. Easter Egg?


Spacecoasttheghost

I installed an exhibit with the labyrinth stuff, one if he didn’t stuff, then Bowie had a huge hog. Like he walk-in with a limp, and also he was very tiny.


Goodly

These comments are the weirdest sort of wholesome and I’m here for it!


Reyjr

Sounds like willow is jealous that the real magic isn’t in a finger in the pants


bewarethetreebadger

I told you he’d only use those pants for evil!!!