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By - OPINION_IS_UNPOPULAR
I had a girlfriend one exactly like this market. Flat!
Sold my tesla calls too early today
ZOOM theta gang
This debt ceiling saga is the best will-they-won’t-they since Ross and Rachel
WOOOOOO!! Up $218 today! 10 mil club here I come! ![img](emote|t5_2th52|4276)
DKS puts would’ve been smarter
U.S. will not default, it will go all the way to the last minute and walla and agreement!🚀🚀
just for next time. It's Voila!
Yup, happens every time, or after 1 week of government shutdown.
5.30 meeting. Wen crash?
Lol @ aapl’s chart today
Stack your dollars, recession is coming and AI will take all of your minimum wage jobs
#u have to touch my CAWK because the manager said so 😊🤝
I hope these 421 6/9 calls don’t burn me
You and me both.
ZM CEO: We have no use for AI
My puts are saved ![img](emote|t5_2th52|4641)
Missed opportunity. AI could observe your meetings and learn enough to simulate your input and decision making, meaning you don’t have to actually participate in a meeting. AI does it for you and just gives you a summary.
My credit spread might be saved. Dodged a bullet.
i got a yolo put. probably gonna be down $150 tomorrow, not sweating it.
After hours is still really choppy. Tomorrow will be fun.
The default protection of the US is called the US Army and you don't get it.
It's funny that the US defaulting is being entertained as an actual possibility.
Well they should probably have a deal by now
I gambled on ZM calls, if this fails guess it’s back to Wendy’s
I did a credit spread so I'm effed but at least my net loss won't be terrible. Hoping some IV crush and profit taking tomorrow might save me though.
he's not out of the woods yet
If ZM doesn’t say AI I still think my puts get there
Ber in trouble tomorrow
If I played ZM earnings it was puts… very glad I didn’t bother
serious question, would you get on all fours and let Elon Musk stick his rocket inside of you until it explodes for a free Tesla?
Lol whose alt are you?
So anal sex for 60k? nah not worth
you would barely feel it though...all his girth is concentrated in his upper body
my anoos worth more
Should have purchased TSLA 190p at close
If you get hurt by anonymous online comments then you deserve to be hurt.
who else made money today![img](emote|t5_2th52|4276)
What you guys doing?
Shit talking vulnerable teenagers online wby
Sitting at my desk about to walk a few steps to my bed and take a nap...I like messing with the fake trading gurus on youtube ...my favorite to mess with is tradersevolve
Spy up $0.17 ![img](emote|t5_2th52|4276)
Ber r fuk. Massively bullish close.
I swear i hop in here a couple times and ur commenting 24/7 bro u got hobbies?
418 is the new 412
Fuck you market
Someone pressed reply all on a Dump CRM email
Let's just stay here...forget the new thread
Where are the 420 EOD fellas
Saw so many of them earlier, tough
Sorry Tsla bulls. Bought $190c for Friday at close so it will open at $180 tomorrow
Imagine buying 0dtes and getting assblasted no matter what
How’d we finish green bears? 😂😂🤡
what a boring day
pfizer hang wya
Qqq set up for another 2% day tomorrow green rally 🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀
I don’t think FL gonna rebound anytime soon.. hahaha 😝 imposible bro.., yeah
*poke market with stick*
Come on do something
Lol 0% day
SPY literally ended the day flat 0.00%. LMAO 🤌
Dont forget about the old thread
What a perfect close
I actually feel trolled rn
Only down $8.37 today... I will sleep well
to hedge their monster short position?
FL the lower it go.. it is better for me 😁👍
Andddd closing at 0.00% on the day nice!
thank you pippa stevens for that wonderful analysis
Why yes, I am dumb enough to long calls here.
What a beautiful day of trading buds
made 3 pucks of maple syrup off the beaver fur stock exchange ![img](emote|t5_2th52|8882)
If they cut a deal today on the Debt my summer is set! But my hope is minimal
Can someone explain this to me like I’m a regard? How can you have a market on close imbalance of $440M to the buyside when it’s straight sold off in the last hour?
It's all good. Just a lot of people consolidating at the new price.
I don't get it either.
just bought UPST puts. Why not. Gotta be a bear once in a while
$29 strike, expiry 05/26
Lot of SI there, will be a good play just hope you caught the top there
You're right, the bears are going to be even more emboldened now. But there's nothing to be afraid of, we might as well send it higher.
Guys tomorrow might be the one red day we get in May ![img](emote|t5_2th52|4271)
waiting for signal "we reach a deal" to pump all the way
Algos just stylin on us with the perfectly flat close
you just mad cuz im stylin on you
You guys dont understand Greeks and it shows
Is optionsprofitcalculator.com good?
If you are a girl
Is it inaccurate? I know the greeks but it helps to chart it out how much things need to go up to keep up with your calls, and how much they need to go down to keep up with puts.
It's decent, but generally doesn't play as well with IV. Good for something longer-dated to give you a rough idea of decay
Do you mind clarifying what you mean by doesnt play well with iv? Doesnt it just assume iv is consistent in for example 7dte's?
I used to use a calculator at my desk...i pretty much only trade futures now
Do futures carry the same reward potential?
Spy flat for the next decade while nasdaq goes to 32k
My nuts saggin
420 tomorrow 440 eow
Flat today just means Shrek's balls will be even more full for tmrw
Lol they had to pump zoom up of course
the stock market sucks
wow. awesome market guys
420 OPEN ![img](emote|t5_2th52|27421)
Limit up I don’t believe it, not this easy not now. And I’m a bear, ain’t no way it’s going down anytime soon
413 manana. 425 Friday
Musk, "How desperate are you? That you call on such lost creatures to defend you?"
Brb gonna go for a quick drive in the garage
**closes eyes and begins speaking to God**
Dear holy father, I gotta be honest, as a whitey, I appreciate being blessed enough to be of the privileged race and being able to own my own trailer with my sister/wife Betsy Lou.....it's great....but..but....why did you have to make my dick so small? I mean seriously, this is fucking ridiculous, my homies be calling me Micro Mike out on the court 😭😭😭😭
This fucking guy ![img](emote|t5_2th52|4275)
They just get Federal bailouts every 5-10 years
The short is inbound and then we bounce up hard
0% day. Just the way thetagang likes it
maybe buy tech options? where they move 2%+ daily since last month?
I have a flat theta portfolio rn so I don't particularly care
bol in trouble tomorrow
Idk about that. Biden and McCarthy meet in person today in person, probably to finalize the deal. Tomorrows going to be very green on news that a deal has been reached. Might end red if the extremists kill it, but I doubt that will happen.
They/Them + Pseudo Socialism
Name a better duo
Penut butter and jelly
overrated, peanut butter and 🍫
Chewing gum and hair
Nah chewing gum and the underside of desks
Go ahead and shut it down while it’s green
Get your Tesla puts while you can!!
We've been looking for you. First Sgt has some shit details for you the rest of the year.
\- Your Commander
Aye sir 😕
I guess not enough bad news came out to make it pump ![img](emote|t5_2th52|4271)
TSLA to 210 eow
Losing too much day trading SPY so I bought 25 UPST $19.50 puts expiring June 2nd
Wtf is this price action Jesus Christ lol
Just bouncing it around to close at 4204.50
Is Jesus Christ in the room with you right now
Pippa Stevens is now a commentator on CNBC.
Looks like CNBC is trying to cater to Millennials now more now than Boomers.
That’s not new, right? She’s been on CNBC for years.
Who bullish for zoom?
Just you and Cathie
Bears r so fuk
I’m never selling and buying the dip for a re entry ever again. Always give back my gains
There is absolutely no way TSLA holds these gains....i cant believe its up right now.
Think it wants to check back to the 200 moving average. That would mean more to go and in this broken market I don’t doubt it.
Thats what I'm saying; bought 180p's at 189.30
Bulls lost ground on bullish news ![img](emote|t5_2th52|19738)
SPY ending at +0.00% is in play 😅😅😅😅😅
Gains or greed...8 minutes
If your alpha was to always sell 0dte puts at 3:30, I have good news. The current price action indicates that many market participants are not aware of the time of day. But you know what time it is because you have a clock. That is your edge. Now go lay your money down.
Hehehe flat regards
yes I’m gay
G worthless options at close
A extra chromosome
This girl I messaged is supposed to meet up with me at 6 today but she hasn’t responded to my dm asking for confirmation
10 Minutes to Expiration (10MTE) puts ![img](emote|t5_2th52|29637)
at this point we might as well try having a 0.00% day on SPY for lolz
Did it ever occur to you that bulls just leave a cinderblock on the buy button at all times
Yeah im sure thats gonna work out for you guys ![img](emote|t5_2th52|4271)
Weiss is bullish??? The upcoming crash must be a big one.
Zoom is going to pump so hard I’m telling you you’ve never seen pumping like this. Really really terrific pumping. Other video conference software? Losers. Everyone agrees. Zoom will pump the hardest believe me 👌
Might annihilate willow's back tonight,wyd